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Sunday, April 29, 2007
2:12 AM Woke up really early today to go to escape theme park with LL and tommy. Well, laugh and say omg for all you want, but I have never been to escape before. Tommy got free tix so I'm in for a deal anyway :) Final conclusion: Escape is a boring shithole. Nobody should pay to go in. Haha the only fun parts were LL and I's self entertainment. We sat lame family roller coasters and pirate ship, and on the rides, both of us pretended to be damn scared and screamed for Mummy and stuff like "Jesus save us". We looked damn traumatized and kept telling the ppl in line (mostly kids) not to play. HAHA :D -------- ANYWAY, the MAIN event of the day. Vintach's gig in DXO! It was my first time going into a club, and I din expect it to be so small. Hmm. Haha but yes, Timo was AMAZING. Like, REALLY REALLY AWESOME. Seeing him playing on stage (and flinging his head madly from side to side), you just get totally mesmerized by him. HE IS SO COOL. Haha oh man, now I have one more person to idolise. Give me the title of Timo's no.1 fan. HAHA :D I particularly like their "paradise" <3>  TIMO!! You cool bastard! I'm gonna put you as my hp wallpaper!!
[ Friday, April 27, 2007
9:32 PM I figured my computer's internet connection's ALWAYS screwed up. It's REALLY pissing me off. I'm SO angry right now. I was typing the word "boobs" when the connection's gone. GONE. I went back and forth between my comp and my dad's comp (connection main is there) trying to figure out the problem. I was getting so exasperated and irritated when a fucker started singing crazy tunes into a microphone a few houses away. At 10.50pm. WAD THE HELL IS HIS PROBLEM HUH?? Finally after some clicks here and there without actually knowing wad I was doing, I got the connection back. It's effing annoying I tell you. I know it never sounds nice when I swear, but I'm sorry, I really really cant help it. Screw that singing fucker. Anyway this is not the first time my computer's doing this to me. NO! It has been like a gazillion times or smth! I havent been able to get internet connection since last SUNDAY, all the way until Thursday. And this was what I typed on Tuesday: I cant take it anymore. I HAVE to blog. Haha I'm so desperate to do that, I'm actually typing my entry on WORDPAD. YES, my comp CRASHED AGAIN. How screwed can a computer get?? VERY. Well I suppose it isn't really the computer's fault, cuz this is what happened. On a fine Sunday afternoon... OK, not very fine, cuz it was POURING. Lightning striking and thunder booming every other second. Then...."PIAAAKKKKKKKK!!!". This lightning strike was near, it was like SO near. Blinding flash at the corner of my eye, followed by a deafening crack, and subsequently the death of my computer. Not JUST my computer. The WHOLE HOUSE experienced a bloody short circuit. We were thrown into darkness (yea it was rather dark even though it was in the afternoon). I went down to the electricity main and found the jumped swtich. Fixed the stupid thing and my house regained it's electricity. I thought everyhting would be fine, but NOO!! My computer just HAVE to get screwed up big time. It CAN be switched on, everything's fine, but there's just NO INTERNET CONNECTION. Ya so that was wad happened. I was pissed off you see. REALLY PISSED OFF. -------- Haha okay away from my dearest crazed computer. This week was HORRIBLE. I had to rush so much work. Esp my PI. I ended up doing a PI on the guy who proved tt the Earth is spherical and not flat, and calculated the circumference of it. Haha I started researching on tt guy and had to type out everything within an hour. No thanks to my fatass PW teacher who's always eating. I ponned school on wednesday. Was too mentally stressed out from all the work. The workload is unbelievable. Anyway, it was a right choice to pon school that day. The school, out of the blue, decided to hav a track and field meet on tt day. YEA, OUT OF THE BLUE. They only announced to us on TUE, and they made attendance compulsory. ARE THEY NUTS!? So they said it'll end at 5, and as expected, it ended at SIX. Nessa tt poor thing was stuck inside for that long. But as always, God loves her, cuz the rugby match which she supposedly missed was scheduled for a rematch today. Haha yup so today was the rematch. Man it was the MOST exciting match (not to mention heart breaking) Nessa and I have ever watched. Honestly, SA was owned big time by ACSI. They won 30 plus to 11. Everytime ACSI scored, my heart sank. But hell, it was a good match. -------- After match, went to eat apple strudel with Nessa, Jess, Victor, and Godwin. I'm telling you, tt 4 people are side-splittingly hilarious. Nessa is crazy, Jess is funny lame, Godwin is full of comical crap, and Victor...well... his pure EXISTANCE is funny. HAHA :)) I love you people. Cheer up nessa! You know they love you bunches too! Tmr would be Timo's gig! I'm so excited to see him play :DDDDD (not to forget CHESTER. HAHA wheee!) --------
 Vic...VICTOR!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA oh man oh man. He's SO CUTE!! Converse shoes owns man :)) This is my recent favourite picture (considering tt I only received it from LL not long ago). I like the way we're just sitting at the gallery, with absolutely nth to do. I LOVE IT, and i miss it too.Thursday, April 26, 2007
10:06 PM Haha but still, I really want to catch up with some sleep. Havent been sleeping well for many days. Yesterday I was so tired, to the extent that I couldnt fall asleep. Do you have any idea how bad that is. You just keep yawning in bed, your mind screaming out to you to get some bloody sleep, but you just keep tossing and turning in bed, your brain refusing to shut down. And hell yes, it's extremely frustrating, so much so that I almost cried. Haha alright alright, shall continue next time ya? Good night lovelies <3 9:40 PM               Haha ok honestly, I was really bored. LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS THING!!! It's... it's WILLY WONKA CHOCOLATE BAR!! Chocolate description: Chocolate MUD SLUDGE (tm), rice crisps and gooey caramel, smothered in milk chocolate. OH MY GAWD RITE. The sound of it makes my mouth water. LOOK AT THAT HEAVENLY SINFUL THING (and tt's a cool oxymoron i just used. HAHA :D)My brother is SO nice.  AHH! LOOK AT THAT THING!! AWW AWWW AWWWWWW!! It can DANCE. Really. Like, walk, shake its head, and dance. Cheryl is such a dear ((: By the way, it kinda looks like cheryl.[jaN3___*] Saturday, April 21, 2007
12:07 AM This is recently what I like to start my conversations with. I said it just now too, and sucheng went all "ohh, BOUNCE BOUNCE!" Yea. HAHA ya la that's why we all go "she's so chong sucheng!!". -------- Anyway today was rather fun. I joined nessa for break during school today, then we bridged. Time was up and we had to go for our respective lessons, but realized like we're gonna be later anyway la. So we just stayed a while longer, with me ponning my bio lecture, and nessa and co. just planning to go late to class. Then, nessa had this crazy idea of me joining her math tutorial cuz her teacher is really funky (in the old, ancient way. HAHA :D). So that's what I did. When i entered her tutorial class, i just walked right in behind nessa. The teacher, for a moment, really din notice me (told you she's funky). But alas, she did in the end. Haha had quite a hilarious conversation with her in trying to convince her to let me stay. Wasnt successful, so i went to the library to mug instead. YES, I'm MUGGING. Jesus. That's so not me. I know, i KNOW it's good that i'm mugging. But can you tell how no life I am?? I'm SO SO SO sick and tired of school. Just pure work, and hardly any play. I mean, yes I do play with nessa, but that's the essentials that are keeping me ALIVE. I just barely passed the line into the living, inches away from the dead. I really love you though nessa, stupidity calling me stupidity and all. Haha :)) -------- But anyway after school I received a msg from reynard. He was studying in kap with jessie, and asked me to join them. Since i live like right beside kap, I thought why not. So I met them, and mustus joined us a while later. Honestly, twins are the MOST fascinating people ever. I love being with mustus, cuz I just cant stop staring at them!! Well pardon me for sounding like a pervy market aunty, but hey, mustus are cool people, not to mention gentlemanly (reynard you too :D). Haha I took tons of pictures of them, and i put one of them as my hp WALLPAPER!! Yes I'm that crazy over them. Talk about twin effects. Haha yup and I made a request too. I asked them to read the same paragraph of words at the same time, and I took a video of it. It's like HOW COOL LA!! I really love mustus, they're really nice :)) But! Even IF you guys are not twins I'll still really love you 2. Cuz please, you 2 got awesome personalities and characters :))  --------Yup then, mustus and reynard went home tgt, while I headed home myself. Angel, cheryl and jess came over to my hse at ard 7. We ate pizza, chicken and cupnoodle. Sat on my bed that's pushed in front of the comp and watched italian job. Played bridge and talked and laughed and listen to angel and jess bicker. It was just like the old times, the times that I realize I miss so badly. It seems so long since I've felt so comfortable with other ppl. I was looking hedious in my specs, pinned up fringe and Pj. Heck, I wasnt even wearing any bra underneath my Pj. But that's the way it is. I'm truly RAW before them. I wonder how long it'll take for me, to start to open up myself, and start acting more like my true true side in AC. I dont think i'll want to go into the topic of AC again for now. It gets me all emo and everything. I dont want to cry to sleep again. Wednesday, April 18, 2007
9:21 PM Anyway David should start reading timo's blog alr. Since his life is interesting and timo's life isnt, timo's life would be very much interesting cuz on monday, david made up quite a fair part of timo's life. Haha ok am i confusing anybody. In short, David is a loser. Hmm monday LL and I rushed to town to get Nessa's bd present. Haha shopped till like 8 plus. My bag was so heavy I almost became brokeback. Went home after that to write Nessa's birthday letter and decorate the pictures i developed for her! We bought her a necklace, but it was in a plastic bag which was rather unglam. So being smart as i am, I went to take a box with the brand "minstone and co." or dunno wad nice nice brand and put the necklace inside. Of course, the necklace wasnt from tt jewellery chain, but it just makes it seems expensive. HAHA :D And we bought her a thick thick disney piano score book too! -------- So the next day came nessa's birthday. The night before, I was slapping myself silly just to keep awake. When my alarm went off at 11.58, I was so thankful. I quickly typed my birthday sms and hope to send precisely at 12, but according to nessa, nobody hit the jackpot. Haha! And what happened on her birthday was ALL in nessa's blog so you can read it there. Then the unexpected thing came. Today, nessa came over and told me that.... I lef the price tag of the disney book stuck on the back of the book. Now she knows where I got it and exactly how much it cost. HAHA damn! It was 30+, but really, it looked like it's worth 50+. Even nessa thought so! DAMN. HAHA :D Well that brings me to nessa's blog. For the past 2 posts, I noticed that she has typed the same thing twice: "But I still love her, stupidity and all." Haha I wonder if I should be feeling grateful or wad. That might just become the sentence specially dedicated to me, stupidity and all. -------- Well today, as of all wednesdays, was a big time killer. Yes yes, we end at 1.50, but we start lesson at 7.50 and for the whole day I only had a 20mins break. Not to mention I had PE too. The stupid circuit made my whole body go lum beh. Tsk tsk. Went back to SA again to watch rugby match against MI. Before that was a heavenly meal of SA's chicken rice and soursop lime. Man they're way out of AC's food's league. Back to the match, SA totally owned MI. Dunno how many touchdowns from SA and zero from MI la. This big guy from MI was like playing rough during the match, and halfway through, he injured his neck real bad. He was screaming and dropped to the ground. Ambulance came too. Well that's about it. Met Jia on the way to the bus stop! Talked to her qutie alot. Felt really good ((: -------- Hmm LL, when you come back from camp and read my blog, I hope you'll be smiling and happy and all man! Since I totally know how you feel cuz i'm in your shoes too, I know whatever comforting words I tell you wont be convincing, but I still hope you'll be happy in tp. Let's work on it together! I love you tons too, so just come and look for me whenever you feel like it :)) --------  nessa looks really pretty with her hair tied up :))
Haha, are we chong sucheng or wad?? (inside joke)
Sunday, April 15, 2007
11:12 AM So anyway yest morning LL came to my hse so we can like dress up, put on makeup and bomb the town! Su cheng impulsly joined us in my room a little while later, and we spent like what, THREE frigging hours to put on makeup. I taught cheng and LL how to put mascara and eyeliner, helped them with one eye each, eyeshadow, blush and tinted shit (credit to LL who starts calling everything shit. Mee rebus became malay brown shit.) I have never felt so tired putting on makeup before, but is was FUNNN :DDDDD Haha I'm listening to Eminen's FACK right now. The lyrics are like HILARIOUS SHIT. ok i'm done i already came twice you ain't gonna make me cum i'm all out of gas not so fast ah your finger just went in my ass' ahh that hurts take it out now oh wait a minute put it back in in in in this don't mean i'm gay, i don't like men i like boobs boobs boobs now see that gerbil grab that too shove it up my butt let that little rascal nibble on my asshole oh yeah right there, right there uhhh i'm cumming oh yeah fack i just came again ok pull it out now oh fuck yeah wait he's not out he's still crawling around up there oh fack i think it's stuck oh but it feels so fucking good HAHA it's like WTH rite, eminem is so vlugar, but it's really funny the way he sings it, with all the farting sound effects. -------- So anyway before we went to town I went to have a haircut. Din do much with it, just trimmed everything, but noo!! I hate my fringe :( Sucheng had to go home, and Colleen cant make it cuz her mum suddenly din allow her to. Hey take care ya colleeny!! Cant wait to see you, miss you bunches :( Hmm so it was only LL and I. We were like sitting on the bus, and LL suddenly thought of calling ppl to come out so we can bridge. HAHA! We started calling random ppl. First LL called dae yeon and at the same time I called timo. We left a voice msg at the same time "haha hello timo i'm leaving you a voice msg now, LL's leaving daeyeon a voice msg right now too!" and at the back ground you can hear LL saying "hey dae yeon! This is a cool voice msg cuz jane's leaving timo a voice msg now too!" Then we called mustus at the EXACT same time too. I called mus and LL called tus. We were like imagining if they pick up at the same time, then we ask them the same question and they reply the same thing, it'll be so funny. Haha so we were already laughing before they even pick up. Then, after waiting for tons long, nobody pick up so we thought of leaving the same voice msg. Then the robotic voice came, at the SAME time (since we called at the same moment), saying "the number xxxxx is not available now. Please try again later. good bye!" We were like "wad??" (you should have seen LL's face. It was the freaking joke of the century) Haha oh man I dont think this is funny to you ppl at all, but honestly, we wanted to start laughing and screaming loudly so bad, but we cant cuz we were on the bus. Haha at least this'll make LL laugh again when she reads it :D -------- We started our shopping trip for Nessa's present, and man were we brain dried. We thought of SO many things to buy for her, but they're so difficul to find. Haha but praise the Lord we finally found smth ;) Went to KFC for dinner, and it was CROWDED with the capital C-R-O-W-D-E-D. Then a funny incident happened. I went to queue for food while LL went to wait for seats. She stood beside this table first and started waiting. Suddenly, a woman stood on the other side of the table and started waiting too. We dunno if she din see LL or wad, but she just started standing there anyway. After the ppl at the table left, the woman quickly sat down. LL was like wad?? And she went to tell the woman that she's there first. The woman look troubled, and said she din see LL there, and that they came first. She pointed out that her boyfren is already in the queue but haha, he was standing RIGHT BEHIND ME. Doesnt that already show that we were there first. I mean come on. But the woman wouldnt budge. I brought my food over and started talking to her too. Then she said this really stupid sentence: "Then when our food come, where am I going to sit??" Jesus, did she even think tt that is in any way a good arguement. So I looked at the tray in my hand and look at her "emm, isnt it the same situation for us." Thank God she's a weakling. She have nothing else to say, so she just left the table, and she immediately found another one at the back. I kinda felt bad, but man it was funny. --------  That's me with makeup on. really! Look closely and you can see my eyeliner. HAHA :D And that's me with my new hair too. Okay there's not much of a diff, but yes yes there is!! MY Friday, April 13, 2007
12:20 PM I still couldnt believe what my parents did to me. I'm just going to stop trying, cuz really, it never ends. -------- Rmb the previous post yesterday? Everything started right after I clicked the button "publish". My brother was nagging about how "you got a lot of time meh? Do this kind of stupid thing. Why you never study?" blah blah blah. So ok fine, I'll stop blogging and go study for my bio test. At the same time, my parents decided to go to newton circus and have dinner. When they asked, I thought about it, and finally decided that I think I'll just stay at home so I can fully study for my bio. Then, my brother came in, and scolded me for not going out for dinner. "Mum and Dad are going back to hk next monday. Last time they weren't free to go out for dinner with us, and now that they can, you don't want to go. Now I can see how much you treasure your family. You see studies more importantly than your family." Fuck you! Everything I do is wrong. Not studying is wrong, studying is wrong. FUCK! You think I love to study? I would very much rather have dinner with my family then being stuck at home and read some fucking biological molecules! I was the one who kept suggesting that we should go newton circus and have dinner for the past few weeks, cuz we haven't done so for like months. I told them it's refurbished and everything looks new so we shd go and try. Don't they know how much I long to have a simple family dinner again? To be able to talk and crap while we eat? It's really not that I dont want to have dinner with them, but I dont want to fail my test, because good grades are what make my parents happy! I felt so condemned, like I never do anything right. I felt so frustrated I starting tearing, but that was after my brother left the room. Suddenly, my mum came in to ask me what do I want from newton circus so she can bring them back for me. Inevitably, she saw me crying. She asked me what happened and put her hand on my shoulder. You know how it is, to just have someone put a hand on your shoulder when you feel sad, esp if it's your parents, becuz sometimes, it's just some warmth you want to feel from them. My mum sounded really concerned, so I thought that, she'll comfort me if I told her what happened. And that's what I did. Guess what happened. She suddenly started scolding me, and saying that my brother is right, that I shouldnt play with the computer if I have a test to study. I told her that I'm unhappy in AC, and blogging is the only way I can find some comfort, becuz I know my friends will talk to me and cheer me up. I thought she'd understand after I told her that, but she did not. "why are you unhappy in AC huh? you already go out with your friends at least once a week, so why are you still unhappy? The most importand thing to you now should be your studies. What's making you so sad in that school?" Her words were so painful to my ears, I cant sense any hint of care in her tone. Going out with my SA friends doesnt mean that I'll be happy in AC. The reason why I long to go out with my SA friends so much is exactly becuz I feel miserable there. She made it sound like she's already giving me alot by "letting" me go out with them, but who was the one who kept scolding me for going out and saying I have nothing to do with SA anymore? My dad came in, and my mum told my dad in a tone of disain: "Your daughter say she's unhappy in her new school ah! I ask her why she's unhappy and she wouldnt tell me!" Then it happened again. My dad exploded and shouted sarcastically "You can transfer back to SA already! Go back to your old school! I dont care where you go already! I so sick of talking to you." And he left the room. My heart was so cold I thought it'd stop beating. I cant stop crying. All I wanted was a little comfort and warmth from my own parents. Is that too much to ask? Ironically, my brother came in after my mum and dad left, and started comforting me. He told me he heard everything from outside. He din know that the reason I blog was because I feel sad and stuff, and he told me he was sorry. "I realize I dont understand you very much." I felt so moved when I heard him say that. Everybody try to pretend that they understand one another so well, and wont admit even if they really dont know anything about them. I know nothing about what my parents are thinking, and they dont understand a shit about how I feel as well. I'm so sick of trying to make them understand my plight and distress, but I dont think they even give a damn about it. I get scolded if I dont tell them why I dont like AC, like as if they're "trying to help" but I wouldnt open up myself to them. But when I DO tell them about AC, this is what I get from my mum and dad. So what the hell am I supposed to do? My crying wont cease. I cried for 2 hours straight, until my eyes literally ran dry. I just kept wailing and snuffling, but there are no more tears left to cry. I cried so much, I thought I'll go crazy. There were moments it got so bad I actually thought of becoming suicidal, just so my parents would know how grim and severe my situation is. But I'd never do anything stupid like hurting myself. I'm never gonna talk to them about AC anymore. If more pain and emotional damage are what I'm going to get from them, I'd rather just keep everything to myself. They can go ahead and think that I'm bloody happy in AC. -------- Any day it'll all be over Everyday there's nothing new and now i just try to find some hope to try and hold onto But it starts again it'll never end I'm heavily broken and i don't know what to do Can's you see that i'm choking and i can't even move When there's nothing left to say what can you do? I'm heavily broken and there's nothing i can do Almost giving up on trying Almost heading for a fall and now my mind is screaming out I've gotta keep on fighting But then again it doesn't end I'm heavily broken and i don't know what to do Can't you see that i'm choking and i can't even move When there's nothing left to say what can you do? I'm heavily broken and there's nothing i can do And there's nothing i can do Feels like i'm drowning I'm screaming for air Louder i'm crying and you don't even care I'm heavily and i don't know what to do Could you see that i'm choking and i can't even move When there's nothing left to say what can you do... I'm heavily broken. Thursday, April 12, 2007
4:59 PM There's 3 computers in the house, 2 of them hav internet connection a one doesnt... MINE!!! it's like the frigging newest and fastest amongst all and now it's doing this to me. Plus, we're all sharing the same connection so there's absolutely no reason that the other 2 can and mine cant, other than the reason that my comp's fucked up. -------- Haha anyway I'm SO desperate to blog I just decided to use my bro's ancient and slow computer. Actually I'm quite pleasantly surprised with myself, that I actually have the urge to blog. The only conclusion that I can come up with to explain this phenomenon is that I want to know wad's going on in my frens' lives and want them to know about mine. To me, blogging is pretty much pointless if nobody's reading it (which is also why i REALLY like ppl to tag my blog. I LOVE TAGS :D). Now that we're in different schools, we start to have less common topics, and that is a big killer when it comes to relationships. I want to read all my frens' blogs and find out wad's going on in their lives. At least, I hope that by doing that, I'll be able to find common topics to talk about with them, like how nessa cant get over that tomato field multiple cropping thing and keeps talking about it. Perhaps, just perhaps, that in this way, I can retain our relationships for just a little while longer, no matter how minimal it may be. -------- By the way, I wanna thank everyone who tags my blog for the past few days. They really made my day, i laughed like crap :)) -------- I went back to SA yest to watch a rugby match against CJ. It felt SO good to be back agn. Nessa said that she dont really miss the place, it's just the ppl she miss so bad. But I plead to differ. Somehow I just really miss that whole building as well. I think it's just cuz, that place brings back SO much memories, good memories, for me. When poeple say that picture speaks a thousand words, they really do. Just by looking at the picture of the SA building on the school handbook, it just totally brings me back to that place, those times. That picture can probably make me hear abel saying the word "fuck" a thousand times too. I think that in SA, the saturation point of memories would be the beloved mattress. Yest, Nessa and I would repeatedly run, jump and plonk onto it without ever getting tired (maybe a bit nausea in the stomach, but we wont get sick of it). The moment we land on it, we started giggling and laughing, rolling ard like some pyschos. It just felt SO good, lyin down there, staring at that particular ceiling and feel the breeze on my skin. AC is not such a windy place as compared to SA. Standing at any point of SA's gallery, you can just feel the wind, the wind, the wind. It's the greatest place ever. This brings me to think about SA's statement: "No one is here by chance." I dont know, but that sentence means a lot to me. Jumping back to the rugby match, CJ was thrashed by SA badly. It was a really interesting game :) Hmm and halfway through the match, we switched to the other side of the gallery, and I SAW MR SOH!!! Gawd haha i think a have a crush on him!! whoo mr soh rocks :D but anyway that's not the point. I talked to him, and he asked me how's AC. I told him it's kinda bad, cant bring myself to like that place blah blah and he said this one sentence which made me think and think. "In any case, now that you're in AC, you gotta put in your 100%, to open up your heart and give yourself chance to fall in love with that school." At that point of time, all I could do was smile gingerly, nod and say "ok". Deep down inside I was thinking that I dont suppose it'll be at all possible. I'm so self-absorbed in my own pitiful sorrow that I sometimes hate myself for being like that. Now, sitting in front of the comp, I start thinking again, of that sentence Mr Soh told me. I understand that honestly there's nth much I can do except to try to like it in AC. But I have yet to sort out my feelings. That sentence just keeps reverberating in my mind, and I dont know why either. -------- After the rugby match, we went to macs to eat. Personally, I hate being split into groups when we go for og outings. As in, obviously I love the ppl I sit with, but it just makes the outing pointless if we dont get to talk together. Seeing everyone engrossed in their own conversations, I feel that it's just so wrong. Fortunately, after eating at macs, we headed over to the hdb playground opposite. Had alot of fun climbing the webbie thing :)) After that we all just lay down and talk and sing and stuff like that. Although it was exactly what I would call a comfortable position to lie in, it felt REALLY nice to be with them like that. -------- Before I end off, I want to thank Nessa for tons of things. On International friendship day, she gave me a milo bar and a note. I read it during bio lecture and smiled to myself like some goon. It was a really lovely note :) Also, I feel really grateful, when she told me that I could always hang out with her class during common breaks. At first I wonder if her classmates would find me weird and stuff, but she cleared my doubts. NESSA! I LOVE YOU TONS IF YOU DIDNT KNOW, AND I WANT TO THANK GOD THAT YOU'RE IN AC WITH ME :D -------- Colleen, I hope you and your that friend is ok alr!! Dont be too troubled over it ya? Cheer up :)) You gotta climb that thing with us next time ok? Haha! -------- LL!! I'm so angry that I lost your "vun, too, vuwi, vour" voice msg. That's like my top favourtie ok!!!! -------- Hey I'm sorry ya, but I gotta go. I'm being deemed lazy and everything by my brother cuz I've spent some time blogging and not studying. Fuck. I still hav stuff to say, but I'll continue next time! -------- [jaN3___*] Sunday, April 8, 2007
3:00 PM To be frank, that compo was exactly what I wrote for the o level english compo "dreams". The main storyline was the same, I just modified a lil to fit the o level title. So here's the original piece I wrote, "Justice". -------- "Members of the Justice League! We gather here today, for there is a monster, a mean and crazed monster, attacking our town! The people are crying out for help. The people need us!" I bellowed in the deepest voice I could manage, but considering that I was only seven and nowhere near puberty, a voice with hight resemblance to that of "Bugs Bunny" was the best I could do. Nevertheless, as the leader of the Justice League, I commanded the rest of the members, my classmates, to end the bloody massacre and send the "monster" back to where it came from. After a somewhat overblown episode of charging blindly around the classroom and sprouting ludicrous cries of "Take that, you crazy creature!" and "Bam! Bish! Wham!" without actually inflicting any physical pain on the "monster", it finally pleaded for mercy. "And once again, Justice League saves the day! Wonderman hooray!" I raised my action figure high up in the air, its cape flapping freely behind it. Satisfied and covered in a film of perspiration, I entered the classroom's broom cupboard to change out of my clingy skin-tight "Wonderman" outfit. Everybody else had gone home, except for Zac, who waited for me to walk home together as we were next-door neighbours. Suddenly, I heard the slamming of the door and a click, which meant the classroom's door was locked. Curious, I peered out of the crack conveniently located on the door of the broom cupboard. I stifled a gasp when I saw who just entered the room and locked the room. It was Herman, the ten year old bully, notorious for his unruly and abrasive behaviour. He was the nightmare of all tiny children. "So, you're all alone huh, little Zackie? Heard that you've been appointed as the class treasurer. Now hand over the ket to the class fund!" He grinned in a psycho and manic way, which sent me quivering uncontrollable, unconcerned about being half naked as my wad of tights rested motionlessly between my feet. Needless to say, Zac was petrified. His brain was temporarily stupefied and his eyes were unfocused, flickering in all possible directions, as if to find a way out of this surreal situation. Impatient, Herman barked at him once more for the key. Zac snapped out of his daze and shook his head tightly. It must hav drained him most of his courage just to do that. Upon seeing the rejection, Herman's complexion rapidly turned into a ruddy hue. He grabbed the teacher's porcelain mug and smashed it into smithereens. Grabbing a broken piece with a relatively sharp edge, he waved it menacingly before's Zac's face. "I'm warning you, you slimy grub! You dont want to get hurt, do you? Now hurry up!" He shrieked, breathing like a nymphomaniac. By then, Zac was overwhelmed by an indescribable sense of trepidation. His knees buckled and he sprawled on the ground, his pants soddened with who-knows-what. Herman has long forsaken his "humanness" for individual avarice, and this time was no different. He loomed over Zac, devoid of all mercy and compassion. Meanwhile, I was frantic. "Should I stay here, safe and secluded from the nasty situation outside until Herman, the human being abhorred universally, goes away? Or... Or should I go out there, save him, and possibly get myself killed?" I thought to myself. What would the leader of the Justice League do? Suddenly, I received enlightenment. Quickly kicking my tights off, I grasped onto a big black rubbish bag. Barging through the door, I charged towards Herman. I leaped on to the teacher's table and pulled the plastic bag over his head. Herman, with his slow processing brain, thrashed about like a cantankerous bull, the bag still over his head. Without a moment to lose, I jerked Zac up to his feet and pulled us both out of the classroom at breakneck speed. With discord hand and eye coordination, I frantically double locked the door from outside. Drowned by a hefty mixture of emotions, I slumped on to the floor, half naked. After a while, we regained our composure. I removed my cape and wrapped it around my lower body as we headed towards the staff lounge. The sounds of thundering bangs and shouts from the classroom gradually became softer as we proceeded. Justice League saved the day! -------- [jaN3___*] Saturday, April 7, 2007
10:05 PM Went out with Nessa, Sherms and Lydia to study today. Somebody please remind me in the future that it's really unproductive. I guess i'm just not tt kind of ppl ba. I think i still study better alone. Nevertheless, today was quite fun. Had laksa for lunch and played a few games of bridge and daidee with gab (he joined us near the end of the study session). Nessa left for church at ard 5.30, and being goon as she is, she left her eraser and even her purple pouch behind. Blur queen. HAHA ((: Sick of studying, Sherms, gab and I went to toa payoh to play pool with Joan and Cupert. Joan is cool man! Haha she got a cool look and she's good at pool too ((: As we were heading back to the toa payoh mrt after pool, I saw the library. Had a sudden urge of borrowing books so I went in with sherms while gab and his frens left for their school's musical. I tried to look for some thriller romance book but was rather unsuccessful. I've read a really good book on that genre before. It's called "killjoy". READ IT PEOPLE! Haha so I ended up with 2 romance humour and a crime thriller. Anyway I realized that Sherms, other than being a really nice guy, he's a really filial son too! Haha ok random :D [jaN3___*] 12:30 AM Today is good friday. Literally. Took the mrt to Pasir ris to go to jesslyn's birthday chalet. We went there early so we could decorate the pavillion. It felt good to be able to see at least 4 of my sexy7 again. But somehow, just somehow, there seem to be this translucent sheet of glass between me and them, making things blurry and vague, like as if they're not totally there at all. Seeing how cheryl and gen talk in a way I've never seen before, I felt weird. Seeing how cheryl and I dont talk in the way we used to be, I felt weird. Seeing how cheryl play fight with sophie like I've never seen before, I felt weird. Before I leave the chalet, Angel cried at one side, but I dont know why. Wanting to comfort her, I went over, and asked what was wrong, she wouldnt tell. When gen came over, she asked gen to walk with her outside and said bye bye to me. I felt weird. I guess they've moved on, forming new bonds with others that are growing stronger by the day. Yet I am being left behind. I dont blame them, honestly I dont. It's not something that one can control, cause that's just the way it's going to be. Jesslyn's bro sent me home by car. During the ride, he asked me about AC. He told me that when he went to NJC, all of his frens went to poly. He was preoccupied with all the mounting school work and cca, and he had not many frens to have fun with for the first 6 months. He said that during that 6 months, going to school made him very sian. But after that, things were OK, and i guess he liked NJ. He told me that everything would be ok for me in the end. I was really grateful that he told me his experience. Although it might take as long as 6 months, or perhaps even longer, I suppose I can expect things to turn out fine for me. --------  Vivo City after cheerleading competition.
[jaN3___*] 12:18 AM     I never thought that I'd ask, but Lord, please, PLEASE teach me how to love AC. I dont know where else to seek help from. Tell me, how to make myself feel at ease, laugh at ease in that school. I dont know what I'm expecting from saying all these, perhaps I just needed some self assurance and comfort. [jaN3___*] Friday, April 6, 2007
1:06 AM LL: "YEA! Especially YOU." -------- Then it hit me. Yea. Why dont i blog that often anymore? It used to be pretty much everyday. Is it really because I have no time, too busy with school work? I switch on the comp everyday, read blogs, talk on msn, check friendster, but I just din blog. I thought, if I had wanted to blog, I have all the time in my life to do so. But I guess I just din want to. Wad is there to blog about? And again it hit me (things are always hitting me and it's starting to annoy me real bad), I always blog after OG outings. I just talked to Steven on msn. He told me to let go. I'm going to spend (a freaking) 2 years in AC with all the new people and everything, and I might as well get used to it. I'm sure he's got a point, but I'm just reluctant to comply to it. As much as I tried to grasp on tightly to my OG7, I can see that it's slowly starting to slip away. My meek efforts cant seem to retain what we used to be. Words just cant sufficiently describe this feeling (my shallow vocabulary bank is also partly to blame). Me: "Hey Abel, do you guys still play soccer after school?" Abel (shakes head): "No. No time la." Something that used to be ever so normal, like lying down on the mattress simply just cuz we have nothing better to do, is deemed impossible now. -------- Just 2 nights ago, I cried shit loads when I was in bed. It's my habit to always listen to a couple of songs before I drift off to sleep. Surprisingly, songs can affect me really easily. They just stirred up my emotions and make me think, think, think, and cry. I thought of everything, SA, AC, SA, AC, SA, AC. Suffocated with tears and inevitably loads of mucus, I sat up and tried to calm down. Feeling lost and confused, I called Cheryl and poured out everything to her. I still couldnt get over what my parents told me, the one about me having nothing to do with SA anymore. I thought that them, being my parents, would have known better than to tell me those shit stuff. Does it mean that it'll be OK if I told them I was going out with my AC friends? What difference does it make? Remembering the march holidays, I tried fucking hard to convince my parents to let me stay over at a chalet. I told them that it'll be the last time I can leave a hard core memory with my friends, considering that we'll all be off to different schools. "Aiya you go wad chalet. Say you wan to talk to them for the whole night, you can still meet up with them for lunch and talk wad!" Yes and now you're telling me a whole different set of bullshit. You said I can meet up, and now you say I cant. Fuck stop confusing me and cheating my feelings. Taking advantage of the current situation and making everything my fault. I tried so hard to make myself happy in AC, so hard, that sometimes I just reach my limit and crack. I just burst out in tears and bawled my heart out. Self-pity can make myself feel alot better, but all the more empty on the inside. I never thought it would happen to me, but I dont look forward to going to school like how nessa does. In weeks and weeks of school, the only thing I look forward to is actually the outings I will have with my OG. They're like my painkillers, giving me temporary relief from all the pain and hurt I feel over and over again. Needless to say, being temporary as it is, I would need that recurring dosage. That's where my worries and fears lie. I'm so addicted, I cant pull myself away from them. I just cant seem to let go, or perhaps even just feel a little less attatched. What am I to do if I'm not going get their dosage of company and laughters anymore? Perhaps, just perhaps, to at least a small extent, I can feel how drug addicts feel when they try to quit drugs. Withdrawals symptoms can be excruciatingly painful. --------
 LL muah muah :))
 HAHA ABEL COME KILL ME WHOO HOO!!
 Chilling at Vivo top floor.
 Econs lecture can be a bore.
 Have I mentioned this is one of my fav pic?
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Cheerleading Jesslyn LL Sucheng Timothy Abel Vanessa Dae Yeon Grace MusTus OG7 :D Steven detonatedlove tstrayer76 SCC MJ horizonroad memories
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5th Apr 07: KFC for dinner, camwhoring for dessert.
