Thursday, May 8, 2008
5:48 PM
I NEED SLEEP.

Finally I'm free!! Oh wait actually I'm not.

Still stuck with the hectic schedule. IT'S JUST NEVER ENDING. UGHH UGHHHHHHH.

For that past one month I disappeared from blogger, every single day had been a whirl. There were just too many things going on I cant steady myself.

Before anything, I really have to say this.

CHEERLEADING IS NOW AN OFFICIAL EXTERNAL CCA!!!!

Omg omg omg omg omg. It took me one and a half year to complete this dream, but heck it's done! I'M SO HAPPY I'M SO HAPPY I'M SO HAPPY AHHHH! Of course I couldn't have done this without the help of my cheer team. CHEERLEADERS I ABSOLUTELY ADORE ALL OF YOU!! :D :D :D

Well, the last month was spent training like crazy for cheerleading. Twice a week from 6-9 pm, not to forget Dance practises 3 times a week. IT'S CRAZY. With the rate of energy draining from me, it's a wonder how I didn't scrunch up into a dried wrinkly prune. Despite all that, it has been a very satisfying (and also refreshing, in some sense) period for me.

After that performance on sports day, I though whao, it's all over, I can finally go back to sleeping at 10.30pm every night. BUT NO, here comes Restless V. Well, it's not that I'm complaining. I mean, I really love Dance, with all the nice sweet dancers and all. But it can get a tad stressful and pressurizing when we dont really get the steps. That's when all hell breaks loose and Raj starts screaming and shouting at the tiniest, minuscules error (some of them arent even errors he just wants to shout that's all). However, that's still the least of my worries.

I HAVE NO TIME TO STUDY.

This week was unbelievably exhausting. Monday I had school till 4.30, dance started at 5 and ended at 9 plus. By the time I reached home, bathe and ate my dinner, it was almost 11. I packed my bag did a little work and I just completely knocked out. Not literally no, in fact, I have never in my life fainted before. I was just so tired my mind went on strike and stubbornly refused to function anymore.

Tuesday wasnt any better. Sure, I ended school at 12.10 (THANK GOD.), but I had to do my GP independent learning shit with Lala, then I had GP tutorial, and lastly Dance from 5 to 9 again. It was terrible. I thought I was going to die.

Yesterday... wasn't so bad. Had NDP cheer practise in Bedok army camp from 2.30 to 7, then our own cheer practise from 7 to 9. I dont know, it's just that although cheer practise with Shane and the girls were all PT, I felt surprisingly OK. Maybe it was because of all the people I love, they make things incredibly better no matter how hard and tiring times can be :)

Today, I finally get to rest. Ok not exactly, since I have to try to use this time to catch up with my work, but still.

Another packed day tomorrow. School, then GP IL, then GP remedial, then gymming for cheer. Oh well at least I get to go home early. P.S getting to leave school anytime before 9pm is considered really really early for me already.

I guess I just have suck it up and hang in there until the end of this month when Restless V ends, then I can go back to HK during the holidays and hopefully get a bit of REAL rests.

SHIT I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT TERMS. ARGH SOMEBODY STAB ME.


Speaking of which, I dont know if I can still cope with Dance and everything else as the year moves on. I cant even study properly for the minor tests now, how in the world am I going to study for my terms and promos? I cant possibly give up on cheerleading, it means more than the world to me. That leaves me with one desicion to make: whether to quit dance or not. I told Godwin (he's like my dance advisor now haha), and he was like: "K lor! Just quite lor! After all the effort you've put in to get into dance. Just quittt!"

Haha omg he's so terribly annoying it's hilarious :) Godwin you've gotta get better soon so we can take turns running after each other and trying to kick each other's ass!!

Ah I think I better stop my post for now. My main (and supposedly sole) purpose of switching on the computer is to read up on my GP IL article. Ok opposing viewpoint here I come. Groan.

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Whao you found my blog. Nice. I'm surprised you kept quiet even after reading that "bitch post" I wrote about you. I expected some major spamming by either you or your good friends, and really I am rather taken aback that my tagboard remained clean.

But then again I wonder what you can say to me. Probably nothing. There's nothing you can say to make me look bad or to make yourself sound righteous. And I don't suppose you got the guts to do anything either. With all those empty talks you and your friend had about kicking and hurting me during cheer practise (sounds childish to you too doesnt it haha), you never got round to do it. With your size and mine, you even dared to think about physically assaulting me? With one body slam and you can wave your dainty upright neck goodbye.

Now that you found my blog and with all that free time you have, I'm pretty sure you'll come back and take a look at least once more. Irksome, yes, but that means you'll read all that I want to say to you. And believe me, I have LOTS.

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"Dance camp wasn't so bad even with Jane around"

What the fuck did I do to you man. I wont mention you as friend's loved one, but in dance society, you're just another of my dance mate. I have no fucking idea what I did during camp that could make you feel it was bad. If it was just my PRESENCE, then omg I really have nothing to say except for "please get a life". I mean, no matter how much I dislike you and think some of your ways are just simply disgusting, I wouldn't spend my time and attention to even bother about you during dance camp. I just want to have fun, who gives a shit about you, right. But you just have to go and say something stupid like that.

I even asked you nicely and politely (with some hints of cheerfulness too I hope) if you would like the food I was serving for camp dinner. Maybe it just didn't come out right. Maybe, to you, it sounded something like: "hey bitch, want some chicken? Nah, just kidding, you can go starve yourself to death." I dont know.

And another thing, you have back problem or shoulder problem huh? Only those who suffer from those get to sleep on the mats, just in case you didnt know. I was having my period, and my lower back was hurting like nobody's business. After one whole night of non-stop dancing, it's a miracle that I could still stand upright. Ok, the few blue mats were laid out, and senior called for those who have problems to go sleep on them. You happily threw your sleeping bag on top and took up space. Soon the mats were filled. Senior called for all of you to try to squeeze a little so I can get some space to sleep on, but no, you didnt budge an inch. I ended up having to sleep on the dance floor. The whole night I tossed and turned. The pain was unbearable and it didn't help that it was freezing in there. I hardly slept a wink. The next day it got so bad my back just gave way. I couldnt even complete the belly dancing session.

At that point of time I still felt rather calm, until I found out that apparently you had no back or shoulder problem whatsoever and was perfectly fine. Why the hell would you want to deprive me of a space on the mats then? Oh wait it's so painfully obvious! Maybe because you have no morals?? Maybe you would rather let me drown in pain then to let your precious body touch the cold hard floor?

If I'm wrong, that is if you REALLY do suffer from some back or shoulder problem and needed to sleep on the mats just as much as I do, I apologise for whatever I just said. If not, fuck you bitch.

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Ah I still have so much more to say, but homework is first priority, and you're probably one of the last. So I'll leave this for the moment, check back after Restless V my dear. Oh and no point getting angry at him. You've got no right to be pissed off at him anyway. You dare try to blame him for anything, I'll never let this matter rest. Go vent your anger somewhere else.

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LL I miss you :(

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