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Thursday, May 31, 2007
10:03 PM Nessa, my love. Thy hair of chocolate mousse And art thou my heart's delight. Words of Thy Thou Thee, cannot express my love. Art thou the love of my life. Nessa, my love. Dost thou not feel my hunger for thee? Dost thou not see my longing for thee? Art thou blind to my yearning? Nessa, my love. Never my side leave. Thou art the air I breathe, the water I drink. Thy presence keeps my wasted heart beating. Nessa, my love, my love. HAHAHAHA! This is damn fun man! :D I LOVE YOU JANE! And I miss you and LL like shit man. :( <3! Wednesday, May 30, 2007
10:34 AM Haha people, scroll down till after nessa's post, cuz I had a draft on saturday which i just posted today, so technically speaking it's still a new post. Anyway I just finished uploading the pics when my mum tell me I only have 15 minutes more before leaving the house!! Oh man gan jiong gan jiong, I dont have much time leftttt. So we went to the zoo right, and ya that's all I can afford to say for now. I'll be back from hk in around a week or so, so I'll continue then ya! NESSA I MISS YOU LOTS LA! I'll buy you present, esp accessories you accessories sucker. Haha :DD Nessa, LL, sucheng, colleen, carin, Abel, DY, Timo, I LOVE YOU GUYS <3 SEXY SEVEN I MISS YOU ALL LIKE SHIT LA! When I come back from hk pleaseeeee go out together like please please. Will presents from hk be big enough a temptaion to lure you guys out!? Muacks <3 Okay I think I really gotta go nowww. I'll TRY to blog in hk. Bye loves :))  OH MAN CUTE STUFF :D
 HELLO HUBBY, Everyone stay away from him, cuz he's MINE.
[jaN3___*] Tuesday, May 29, 2007
9:19 PM But no matter, I the Great, am here to honour you with my superb blogging skills. :D Anyhow, PLEASE TAKE CARE IN HONGKONG OK?! Don't anyhow anyhow play play, happy happy eat expired yogurt again ahh. And LL! Look after each other ok? :) Oh, and remember to buy me things. :DDDDD Rights. I don't really know what Jane's been doing the past few days but I know she went to the zoo with the OGers on monday. And I didn't. Therefore I also know that she missed me ALOTALOTALOTALOT. Ok, from Jane's point of view. I went to the Zoo with some of my OG darlings on monday and Nessa didn't go. I missed her so much! My heart was acheing because I needed to see her so bad. Nessa, nessa, where forth art thou?! (At home lar you twat!) I couldn't stand the thought of Nessa not being near me and I felt so so sad. But thankfully, the rest of the OGers managed to take away some of my sadness. Don't abandon me ever again ok Nessa! I NEED YOU! Whoa, cannot cannot stop stop. Now, this is NESSA speaking. :D Anyway, when are you coming back ah Janie? Message me the nanosecond you do and we can plan another OG outing in which I will climb over the gate if I have to to attend. :) Oh yes, I need to repeat this constantly so it'll get stuck in your head. DO NOT EAT EXPIRED MEIJI YOGURT HOWEVER NICE IT IS! Heck, do not eat expired anything! LL! If you see Jane anywhere near expired food, knock her unconscious and drag her away. If she's too heavy for you to drag alone (NOT SAYING YOU'RE FAT JANIE! It's just that LL's smaller than you and you know your height is model worthy) GET HUEI MIN TO HELP! Rights. Oh and Janie, if Ming Jiang asks you who AD is, DON'T SAY A WORD! I love you sugar! -Nessa Saturday, May 26, 2007
3:38 PM Haha it's like wth! I'm leaving the house in one hour's time, and I'm blogging. I had been ITCHING to blog for the past few days. Really, I'm not lazy anymore, I SO wanted to blog but it never turns out right. Shit I have so much to say but I have NO FUCKING TIME! Haha I'm actually feeling rather ecstatic just by typing in this box. Okay whatever. -------- So it goes that I was blogging on Saturday afternoon. I was happily typing when LL rang my doorbell. Blogging interrupted: The pessimist finds difficulty in every opportunity, the optimist finds opportunity in every difficulty. I'm so lazy to blog nowadays, so I'm impressed by nessa who blogs almost every single day (and who say must go home and immediately sleep and dont blog one ah *coughs*). For the whole of this week, I only went to school for 2 days out of the 5. Tuesday I went, but took a pink slip and went home early. Friday I went, but it was a half day, so technically speaking I only went to school for 1 day. You know why? I had food poisoning from expired yogurt. After I reached home on wednesday night I found a packet of meiji yogurt in the fridge (Strawberry) and started eating it. Halfway through the yogurt I looked at the packaging and realized it's expired. But seeing that it's only 2 days expired, I just continued eating it and eventually finished it. Great move. I stayed up late that night to complete my gp essay, after I'm finally done with it at around 1 plus 2am, I bathed, blow my hair, put moisturizer etc etc and immediately went to sleep. I was feeling super queasy and giddy, and couldnt get to sleep. It has happened lots of times before and I know just the thing to do. Make myself puke. My head was spinning as I staggered to the toilet. I put my finger in my mouth and started tickling my throat like how some anorexic people do. Then I threw up. I felt so much more better, with that damned yogurt down the sink. I woke my maid up and she tended to me, measured my temp and realized I got a fever. Bahh. I promised nessa before heading home that I'll go to school the next day, but I broke it :((  Jess and I desperately waiting for taxi after strings concert.
-------- But anyway yes I had food poisoning from meiji yogurt, that explains Nessa's desperation to get me away from expired food. ANYWAY NESSA I LOVE YOU!! Your post makes me laugh ((: BY THE WAY, your "jane's point of view" is so off. "Nessa, nessa, where forth art thou?!" !?!?!?!?!?!? That, is the BIGGEST pitfall of the whole paragraph. LITERATURE!? I had to use Microsoft Works Word Processor to spell check that word. I NEVER uses lit in my written reports nor speech. Haha if I'm really put into a situation that I MUST use some form of litty stuff, it'll be "thy thou thee" cuz those are the only litty words I know. And they'll be used altogther cuz I have no idea what they mean. So in Jane's point of view, it'll be something like this: "Nessa, nessa, thy thou thee where are you? Thy thou thee love you tons alot!" Yea. -------- Haha "HUEI MIN" cracks me up. Isnt that the tao huei "huei", she's HUI MIN LA. HAHA retarded :))) HEY MING JIANG KUEH! AD IS................... AH DUNG. He's my neighbour. haha and nessa, it's been really long since I've seen the "stupidity and all" thing. [jaN3___*] Tuesday, May 22, 2007
11:39 PM Whao whaoo, I havent update for tons long! I've been rather sick lately. Usually I get well very soon, but this damned thing is still not going away (since last MONDAY. Basket). I dont think the medicine I got from silvercross is working :( Anyway becuase of that, I missed school on thursday, friday, AND monday. Okay fine monday it was 80% pon but still. I cant remember what I did on friday. I wonder if I did anything at all. Oh yes yes, thursday. I just realized the previous post dated thurs was actually typed after midnight on wednesday, talking about wednesday. So back to thursday. I went to holland.v with my mama and papa to see the doctor. I was wearing some ragged tee and some old pair of shorts, and a huge jacket. Does that ring a bell on a look that screams UNGLAM. Plus, i was having that sick, dead fish face. You know what, I never seem to bump into anyone I know when I'm looking all fresh and dressed up. At least they wouldnt have the sentence "WTF who is this siaow za bor" floating around in their heads when they see me on the streets. Alas, when I was taking quick steps towards silvercross, I met margareth from my econs class. Some kind of fate huh. After I took my number from the counter lady, I went back down to starbucks to have tea with my parents. Feeling bored, I called up LL. Then, on impluse, I invited her to my house. I rented the movie "John (or Tom or Don or Ron or SOMETHING I CANT RMB) Tucker Must Die" and watched it with LL in my house. It was funny shit. Then again, the ending was quite shitty. All in all it's okay la. Then we went up to my room and just started doing random stuff like drawing. I made a sketch of LL on her sketch pad while she touched up on her dead cricket drawing. I love drawing :DDD -------- Now I remembered what I did on friday. I did nothing. -------- I did nothing on saturday too, but at night I went to HwaChong's dance night, "Mosiac". I must say I was rather disappointed with the whole performance. Their SYF's modern dance "journey" was nice, but other than that, the dances from chinese dance and modern dance were of rather low quality. Not that I'm an expert in dance or anything, but their coordination werent that great, and the choreography were somewhat typical. Went to Macs with Angel jess and cheryl for supper after dance night. I wanted to eat the grilled chicken foldover but it's bo hua to buy without the meal. On the other hand, I cant eat french fries cuz I my sorethroat was thriving at its climax then. In the end, I bought the meal and just donated my fries to cheryl and jess. Oh and yes, I passed my disease package to Angel after I fed her my pepper steak on wednesday night, so she couldnt eat the fries as well. Haha! (get well soon pig) -------- Wai sum came over to my place the next day. We wanted to havok in the house but my brother warned us not to make any noise (not even the PIANO. tsk) cuz he needed to study. We were so scared he might start nagging at us. YA, he WILL nag at wai sum too, even though she's a guest and same age as my brother. All 3 of us attended the same primary school in HK (SIS) and wai sum was in the same level as my brother then. That's how they got to know each other, but I din know wai sum then. Then, when we came to singapore, I went to st.margs. When I was in sec 3, this siaow za bor suddenly came over to me and "HELLO!!!!!". I got such a big shock I tell you. Turns out it was wai sum. I din know we're in the same secondary school until SEC THREE. Well that's how I got to know that crazy woman. So in any case, my brother know she's a stupid crazy woman, so he'll nag at her all the same. -------- Monday I stayed home to do my gp essay, then went to watch the long awaited ACSA rugby match in CCAB. Over there, I really didnt know who to cheer for, so I just kept quiet. It was a long game, with their scores tied at 10. They played till over time, but neither team was able to score another try. In the end, the game was stopped and the winner title was given to the team who scored more tries, which was SA. After that was announced, I realized I did want AC to win slightly more than the other way round. I think it was partially because it wasnt a clear win. AC scored a try (5), converted (2) and had a penalty kick (3), while SA scored 2 tries without convert (10). Nessa left half way during the game for her piano lesson, leaving me with grace, dy, abel, timo and their classmates. During the rest of the game, I found I werent able to talk to them normally, meaning like how we used to crap and everything. Maybe it was becuase I dont really know their classmates, and when they talk, I either have no idea what they're talking about or didnt want to be rude and cut in. I admit I'm extremely afraid of being lonely, and gets insecure very easily. I need attention from friends, or I'll get uneasy, and eventually drop to a very lousy mood. I know we're all having new friends, new topics that are no longer common amongst us, but I hope our og wont drift apart. I cant wait for the 28th, when hopefully our whole og with be able to go to the zoo together. We're in need of spending quality time together. --------- I finally returned to school on tuesday. I realize alot of other people are sick too. I'm telling you, there's a bug going around in AC. I saw nessa, whom I've not seen for TONS LONG. 5 days, but it's really long considering we see each other almost everyday during weekdays. And when I saw ah chua before going to chinese class, I realized I missed her quite alot too. Ahh but my school day didnt last long. After chem ended at 12.30, I was feeling really drowsy and lethargic, so I got a pink slip from Mrs yeong and went home to rest. My temple started throbbing REALLY bad on the bus, and I almost didnt make it home when I walked up the slope. The head was aching so bad I couldnt climb the stairs up to my room, so I just plonked onto the nearest sofa and started sleeping. Slept for about an hour or so and dragged myself up to my room and continue sleeping. At around 5.30, I woke up and met Vicky jess and nessa in the new gelato shop "swirl". It's not bad really, especially the peanut butter one :)) Cabbed down to Victoria Concert Hall with vicky and jess at night to watch AC's strings concert "Kronos!". Though the movements in the first concerto was slightly lullaby-ish, the sounds of all the strings instuments were really soothing. I was really intrigued by the Harpischord performance. I've never seen that intrument before, let alone heard how it sounds like. The notes it produces are really cute, but too bad I werent able to see how she played it from my seat. During the interval, I moved to the 3rd row with ah chua, and got a close up view on the next performace that included a piano. That performance, was an eye opener. I could clearly see how the pianist played her piece, and gawd, she's AMAZING. I was so in awe during the whole performances, eyeing her fingers closely, watching them slide up and down the piano keys. SHE CAN DO AMAZING TRILLS WITH HER RING FINGER AND PINKY. OMG. She's my idol. So then the concert ended at 9 plus, with vicky and jess sleeping through most of it. Haha :)) we walked over to the food court beside the esplanade, ate satay and had some drinks. Good thing all 3 of us lives in the west, so we cabbed back, with the taxi driver dropping us at 3 places. I dont regret going to the strings concert. After it, I was even more determined to learn violin after I get my diploma in piano <3 [jaN3___*] Thursday, May 17, 2007
4:05 PM Haha your canto post is hilarious shit. Thought there are some werid expressions you used, and was rather inaccurate in the pronunciation, I can still understand everthing you said. Thanks tons babe :)) Haha the "Jane, nei zhen hai yat goh HOU YAN!! doh jeh!! ngo wui hou hou repay nei. pffffft" IS SO FUNNY. HAHAHA IMAGINE SAYING IT IN ENGLISH, SO AUNTIE. HAHAHAHA! love you muchie muchie LL! [jaN3____*] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 2:32 PM Wednesdays are days that I always look forward to. Not the school part, cuz wednesdays in school are the worst amongst all the other days. It's the after school life that I love, cuz it means rugby matches, and og mates!! Ah, but next week would be the last of rugby season. What will we do after that? Hum ho. School ended at 1.50, and as usual, met up with nessa before heading anywhere. She went home with me, ate cup noodle for lunch, then cabbed down to old police acad. The AC vs ACSi match has already started! The place was effing hot. There are no benches so we had to stand in the crowd and watch under the glaring sun. Couldnt take the heat after a while and went to open my umbrella. My umbrella, being exremely electronegative, attracted many positive ions who started crowding under my umbrella. If you stand holding the umbrella, your front half of the body would be under the shade, whilst the back half still exposed to the sun. You could literally feel the heat sensation on the back half, boiling up fast. The first match was so so, with us standing and not really knowing wad's the score and everything. Once, a rugger kicked the ball and it flew right towards us. The people scattered while I stood there, a little slow with the reaction. I raised my head and saw the ball spinning towards us, and all I could do was hold the umbrella with one hand, stretch out the other and go "whao whaooo..." Thank god it din hit me, cuz it missed me by a few centimetre, hitting the floor then bouncing up to hit another girl nearby. The match ended with ACSi winning by dunno how much. It's expected though. We were in our AC uniform, and in preparation to cheer for SA in the second match between SA and RJ, nessa and I brought our SA shirts to change into. Nessa was so scared AC ppl would recognize her and beat us up. Haha :D The SARJ match was a total WHAO. You can tell the difference, the level of excitement of the crowds. I think the reason why the atmosphere in the first match wasnt there's because we're way too bothered by the heat. When the SA match started, the sun eased its fiery rays and the whole place was much cooler. We walked over to the side where RJ would score, where we expected much of the action would happen. True enough, within 2 minutes after the game started, RJ immediately scored a try. The match went on and it was 12-nil. Half time came and went, and the teams switched sides. We were too lazy to walk over the other, so we just stayed at the same place, where SA will now score. THANK GOODNESS WE DIDNT WALK OVER THE OTHER SIDE. Standing up watching, we saw the ruggers slowly approaching us. Then POW! SA SCORED A TRY!! Then, AGAIN, AND AGAIN!! They scored THREE tries consecutively, and the score went to 12-15, with SA LEADING. Nessa and I jumped and screamed and laugh and cheered each time SA scored. We were INSANELY HAPPY. And to think there's only 10 minutes left to the game and SA's leading. But alas, when we thought SA might have a change to win RAFFLES, RJ scored again. By the last 2 minutes of the game, the score was 24-15. There goes, RJ won. But it's okay!! It was an EXTREMELY well-played game. Nobody expected anything like that, with SA scoring as much as 3 tries. Good job SA! Ahh, now the next match would be SA against AC. The most dreaded and somehow most awaited match. I wonder what will happen.  The place where we sat and cam-whored a little after getting a little tired of standing.-------- After the match I met up with Cheryl and Gen, then we went to novena to have dinner with Angel and Jess. It's been SO long since we've spend time together. It was really nice :) Leaving the old police acad to go to novena, the 3 of us took a wrong bus which took a turn into serangoon. We quickly got off and stared walking aimlessly, with no idea where we were. We roamed into a hdb area when angel called. We gave up on trying to find our way out, so we just took a cab. Dinner was at Hans, and I must say their black pepper steak's really quite something. It's yummy, but a little expensive.
-------- Some pitures of Nessa and I. We started cam whoring on the bus. Within 10 minutes, we took like over 40 pictures :DDD  I cant really rmb wad this face is supposed to be. I think it's "saw victor and really wanted to pinch him" face.
Honestly I cant rmb what we're doing there.
 This is just random.
 Our gp teacher.  Found this picture in my old camera file. I was only sec 3 then. Young and vibrant.[jaN3___*] Wednesday, May 16, 2007
11:05 PM I'm falling ill :( It first started out as a tiny harmless sorethroat, then comes the flu. Since my nose's all blocked up, I have to breathe through my mouth (or I'll die). But by breathing through my mouth, it's drying out my already sore throat, making it more sore. And now, fever. GAHHH. -------- Oh by the way, I wonder if you guys realize "---------------------------------------------------------------------------" means it's a seperate post of the day. Like, "--------" means diff paragraphs, but the long one is a totally different post. I din used to have to do that, but this blogksin doesnt show the time of each post. -------- I had 4 tests this week, namely chemistry, maths, econs and gp. Thank goodness I'm done with all of them, and there are NO MORE TESTS FOR THIS TERM!! That brings me a great deal of relief and comfort. You have no idea. I think I'm slowly catching up with schoolwork. For the first few weeks since school started, I have no idea what was going on during lessons. I was just, spacing out. Mutated to become fully permeable, nothing was retained in my brain. Tests came and I failed. If cheryl heard that, she'll probably tell me I deserve to fail, cuz I din study for them. Haha which is very very true. I din expect to pass anyway. Then, I'm finally starting to grasp all the shit stuff. Studied for upcoming tests (though not very much, but still), and did pretty well, for my standard, that is. I've been escaping from PE for the whole of this week. Was supposed to run 2.4, but emm, well, felt kinda lazy, AND of course, I was sick, so it wasnt at all unreasonable that I ask for exemption. PE was the last period of monday, so after the teacher exempted me and left to supervise other students, I zao and went home. On the bus, Nessa called me, asking me where I am. I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT SHE'LL WAIT FOR ME TO GO HOME EVERY MONDAY. I'm sorry nessa :((( -------- It's a chain effect. First abel blogged about his parents, then sucheng, then LL and nessa. It's funny how on abel's part (I assume) never expected to create this heat wave when he clicked the "publish" button. Reading those posts and seeing how everyone goes I love you very very much mother and father, I got this twinge of jealousy. I cant exactly tell what sort of jealousy it was, but I suppose that emotion was the best-fit word I could think of. I have never said I love you to my parents before. In fact, to my whole family. I suppose a display of affection is not the norm in my family. I once thought of saying it, but I backed out on myself at the last minute, thinking that it's way too embarrassing. It's not that I dont love my family enough to say it out loud, but there just seem to be something missing. I wonder just how close our family actually is. Take for example LL and her parents. By the way she phrases her words when she describe about her family, she seems to have forged very strong bonds with her parents. Then, going back to my parents and I... where? Sure, we laugh and joke around during meal times, but I dont consider that a closely bonded family. We seldom spend time DOING things together. Hell, we dont even have meals together that often now. If we're lucky, we'll have 2 to 3 meals together in a week. Just because I've once owned and experienced how it's like to always have family meals together, I must go through the loss and pain when we cant do that anymore. In the past, when we first moved to Singapore, my mum's a housewife and my dad a househusband. (though he never really helped in housework) My dad leave his trusted managers to run his businesses in hk, and in S'pore, he'll stay home and make business calls. In short, the 2 of them are always at home. Being primary school kids and later lower secondary school students, we always return home after school. Meals were always eaten together, both lunch and dinner. During weekends, we made it a habit to eat out, usually either at newton circus, sushi tei or pizzahut. After my dad opened a restaurant in S'pore, things start to go haywire. My parents will go down to the restaurant every night, esp on fridays, saturdays and sundays. They leaves the house each evening at around 5.30pm, and only return at 11pm-12am. Since they sleep till at least 10am the next morning, we hardly get to see them anymore. My brother and I, being in JC, start school at 8 and end around 4.30. By the time we return home, they'll be gone. If you piece everything together, you would be able to tell the amount of chances we get to meet our parents. In fact, we can go for days without seeing, just SEEING our parents, at all. It's sad, but it's becoming the norm. We're so used to it, the impact doesnt come until my brother and I decided to carry out thoughtful talks when we eat dinner alone, with my younger sister. The 3 of us sit at the large round dining table that's supposed to accomodate at least 7 people. The entire dining room would be silent, with only the clicking of chopsticks and the whirring sound of the electric fan. Talking about my younger sister, I suppose she really is quite a poor thing. Frankly speaking, I'm not a good big sister, not at all. She primary 5 now, and I always scolds her, nag at her. I've seldom been nice to her. I wonder if she's a lonely child. My brother and I, being only 1 year apart, are close. We grow up playing together, and shared much childhood memories. As for my sister, did she even have what considered as a childhood. I grow up playing in the playground with my brother and our neighbours (we lived in a flat in hk then). My sister grow up playing with the computer. We always nag at her for spending too much time playing with the computer, watching TV, talking on the phone and stuff like that. But to think about it, what else can she do to spend her time? There's no one to play with her at home, so she resort to those things to receive some kind of interaction. I think my brother also recently realized this, and slowly, we try to be nicer to her, giving her what should be deserving of a kid. I thought about the future, then thought of my dad. He has planned out our whole life for us. For my brother, it would be a good overseas university, graduate from it, then take the masters degree, and some some other degrees that I couldnt really remember. For me, well, it's more or less the same, but slightly more specific. He said in a very this-is-the-way-it's-gonna-be tone "You do well for A levels, then I'll send you to australia to study veterinary, then get a degree....". He even decided what I'm going to study in future. I know it's a tradition for parents to lay out a path for us to take, but I have alot of questions. It's not that I dont like veterinary. Actually, I'm quite interested in that area. But, that's it? that's going to be the rest of my life? Get my degrees, find a job, get married, have kids, and die. That's a typical person's life, yes. I'm not asking for a extraordinarily interesting life, but looking at it, it's still not very appealing isnt it. I realize I've been jumping around to alot of areas in this whole family thing. But back to bonding, I really want to experience what it's like, to have your parents sit down to talk and ultimately comfort when you're troubled. I have a friend whose dad took a day off just to talk to her, because she was having problems in school. Would my parents do that? I want to know, how it feels like, to have your mother's arm over your shoulder, pulling you into her embrace when you felt like crying. I dont know. [jaN3___*] Sunday, May 13, 2007
3:30 PM What's wrong with blogger recently. Everytime I get to the dashboard, the format of links are all jumbled up, and I cant post. After clicking stuff here and there, it'll return to normal. This has been the case for the past few weeks. -------- Anyway yesterday was fun :D I invited LL and ah chua to come over to my house, so they can get to know each other and stuff like that. Also, we can get our mother's day gift done :)) I told them to meet at 1, but LL came super early cuz her mum sent her, at ard 11. I was thinking of what I should do for my mum, and decided to take a picture with her. It was 12, and my mum's still sleeping, so I just sneaked into her room, lay beside her and took retarded pictures with my hp. After that, LL and I headed to coronation plaza to meet ah chua, and develop the photos. I was wearing my saint shirt, sajc shorts and slippers. I pinned up my fringe and was wearing my glasses. In short, I was looking unglam, REALLY unglam. I regret looking like that the moment I step out of the house, but I was too lazy to go back and do something about it. I prayed hard, hoping and hoping that nobody would see me in that state. Alas, my life's screwed up. LL and I crossed the overhead bridge to the bus stop, and I was telling her how small my flat in hk is. I spread my arms, make ridiculous turns on the pavement to show her the size of my tiny room in hk. I was looking stupid I tell you, and suddenly, somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and OMG. OMG OMG OMG. MY PRIMARY SCHOOL CRUSH. It's like, OMG. My mouth dropped open, and I didnt know how to react. I was too overwhelmed with shock and despair. At that moment, my bus came, and while running to get on the bus, I shouted to him "OMG I CANT BELIEVE YOU SAW ME IN THIS UNGLAM STATE!". That caught everybody's attention. On the bus, I was still trying to recover from that state of shock. I was shaking my head and telling myself "oh no, this is bad... this is really bad. This is the start of an unlucky day. I can feel it. I'm going to see many more ppl I know on the way, I know it's gonna happen." Upon reaching coronation plaza, I rushed into the toilet, just to see how my crush saw me as. The moment I saw my reflection on the mirror, I freaked out. Yea, I got freaked out by my own reflection (ha.) Feeling devastated and ultimately hating myself, I walked out of the toilet, dejected. Ah chua walked in from the front door of the shopping centre, and the first thing she said to me was "wah, you look damn unglam." Thanks, that's really comforting. -------- While waiting for the photos to be developed, we walked over to this thai noodle house for lunch. The place was packed, so we squeezed into a tiny table near the entrance. When the woman came to take the order, there's little student meals available. LL cant eat tomyam (it's sold out anyway) and she cant eat beef as well. She was deciding on what to eat when the woman went "faster faster, alot of ppl" in her wacky thai accent. Flustered, LL said nvm nvm, I dont want to eat. Irritated, the woman walked off with ah chua and my orders (2 beef noodle). After she's gone, I was like "Do you guys want to eat Mcdonals instead." Ah chua said "I dont minddd :D" We exchanged looks and after bout 5 seconds, I went "zao zao zao!" And we chiong out of the shop when the woman's not looking. HAHA :DDD -------- We ate at macs, and went to island creamery to get ice cream. I got a very berry (all time favourite), ah chua got a black forest (not very nice, too much alcohol), and LL a reverso. It's the first time LL's eating in island creamery, and all she could say was "omg, this is damn good. omg omg." I bought a customized photoframe in coronation plaza for my mum, with blocks that spell "mamee (that's how i call my mum in canto)". When i got home, my sister showed me what she bought, and holy cow, it's EXACTLY THE SAME THING. She bought hers from westmall, and the blocks spelt something else, but still. ARGH. -------- Back home, the 3 of us watched more korean variety shows, played some cards, and we taught ah chua how to play majong :D she had to go home for dinner, while LL stayed behind. Here comes an amazing discovery. LL HAS NEVER TASTED WATERMELON IN HER WHOLE LIFE UNTIL I FORCED HER TO EAT IT YESTERDAY. OMG RIGHT. I was in the kitchen when LL walked in. Me: Ey, eat watermelon ah. LL: Huh, I dont want. Me: Why? LL: I've never tasted it before. Me: WHAT!?!?!? NEVER!? WATERMELON!?!? LL: err, ya. Me: EAT IT NOW. RIGHT NOW. EAT IT!!! LL (looking really scared) : Whyyy?? I dont wanttt :( Me: EAT.IT.NOW. LL picked a really tiny piece of watermelon and held it between her fingers. As she raised her hand towards her mouth, her eyes were clamped shut, and her face scrunched up tight like as if she's ready to taste shit. She stuck out a small portion of her tongue and licked the watermelon (By God, it's just WATERMELON). She opened her eyes and gave a disgusted face. I told her through gritted teeth to eat it, and she shook her head over and over again, saying "dun wannn. i dun wannn." Finally, she popped it into her mouth and chewed. Almost immediately, she grabbed a grape and ate it, as if to neutralize the poison she just ate. I didnt know whether to laugh or cry. I slapped my hand on my forehead and said weakly "omg, I have NEVER seen anyone who have never eaten watermelon before (to think you're already 16 years old), and dont like it." -------- LL left at around 9.30, but forgot to take her mother's day gift with her --- Mangoes. Yes, she bought mangoes for her mum as mother's day gift. If that still isnt weird enough, her mum was the one who told LL to get her that. Yesterday was one funky day. [jaN3___*] Friday, May 11, 2007
8:17 PM 灯光也暗了 音乐低声了 口中的棉花糖也融化了 窗外阴天了 人是无聊了 我的心开始想你了 电话响起了 你要说话了 还以为你心里对我又想念了 怎么你声音变得冷淡了 是你变了 是你变了 灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了 滴下的眼泪已停不住了 天下起雨了 人是不快乐 我的心真的受伤了 - 7:52 PM Lum ha, ngo geh blog title zen hai yao D doh ci yet gui. Jao sun ngo mm gong, ngo lum lei dou mm wui zoi tong ngo gong yeh. Ngo gu hei gum dai geh yong hei, fong dai jun yim, zoi ci sms lei, hei mong ngo dei yao hoh leng bin fan pang yao. Ho ah, lei hai yao reply ngo ah, dan hai dim gai, dim gai lei yew hai zui mei tong ngo gong D gum geh yeh? Lei yi gah sun dim ah! Hai seng geh yan dou mm wui gum gong gah lar! Cui fei lei tong ngo gong hai dak dang geh, gum ngo zen hai mo yeh ho gong. Lei hai mai xiong tai ngo geh fan yeng ah? Lei xiong zoh ngo geh zi jun, dan hai lei mm ho yi wai ngo zong yi lei. Ngo gok dak lei yet zek yi lei dou hai dou wan ngo. Meh ngo dei hai ho ho geh pang yao, ngo dui lei ho zong yew. Sek si la! Lei dui ngo hai gum geh yet tou, dui kei tah lui zai yao hai tong yeung geh yet tou, gew ngo dim sun lei wah ngo dei hai meh zi gei ah! Lei zong yi yet goh lui zai, jao tong kui seng wai pang yao, jip gan kui, dang dou kui yi wai lei hai yet goh ho yan, ong lei bin seng ho pang yao. Dang lei mm zoi zong yi, lei zao pek dai kui mm lei, gao dui kui but zi soh cho. Lei gum yeung wan yen geh gum qeng, zen hai ho zin gah! Lei dui goh goh dou yong yet yeung geh meng, gong dou ho ci ho qen mut gum, dan hai dou hao mei mai yao hai jiong goh meng yi zek dou leng oi yet goh lui zai sen xiong! Ngo gok dak ho bak ci, dim gai yi qin mo fat gok dou. Kei set ngo zen hai ho xiong tong lei zou ho pang yao, but guo ngo zou mm dou. Lei tai gan la. Gin sek guo lei geh sao fat, ngo yi geng mm gum zoi jip gan lei, sum pa mm zi gei si yao wui bei lei zoi ack doh yet ci. Ngo mm wui deng lei, mm wui zoi kei kao di meh. Hei mong dak yut gou, did dak zao yut sum. Ngo yew hok wui fong hoi, yen wai lei yi geng mm zoi jek dak ngo hui gok dak siong sum, hoh sek. Lei yi hao dim, zong yi di meh lui zai, lei mm sai zoi tong ngo gong, yen wai ngo mo heng cui zi. Zoi gin laaaa. [jaN3___*] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7:32 PM Haha it's kinda funny seeing how everyone tries to decipher my canto post. I'm sorry I'm being weird and all, blogging that way ya? But that's the only way I can type and store conveniently the stuff I think and feel sometimes. It's a way to channel out my stress. -------- I ponned school on wednesday and stayed home to do homework and everything. Nessa came over after school and we headed to RJ to watch the ACRJ match. We werent let down, it was one hell of a match. Best game I've ever watched, but AC lost :( Well it's okay (although I know it's really not very ok to the ruggers, that's the only thing I can say), the AC ruggers fought hard! Next week they're going to play ACSi, whilst SA's going to play RJ on the same day. It was a tough choice to make between the 2, as to which one to watch. But by God we're blessed, the 2 matches are AT THE SAME PLACE, one after another. OMG WE GET TO WATCH BOTH. HAHA :DDD -------- I had lesson all the way until 6 pm today. School's supposed to end at 4.30 but I had math remedial :( Was complaining about it alot, but after attending it, I'm SO glad I went for it. Before that I was so gonna give up on the whole graphical tech chapter cuz I was so clueless about everything. Now, HA, I'm a changed man. Thank you SO much, Mr Kayden Lim :)) Screw the fucking taiwan math lecturer, she's a bitch. [jaN3___*] Thursday, May 10, 2007
7:10 PM Whao I have a bio test to study for, and math as well (due to a stupid remedial tmr) and I havent started on anything. Hoooo! Today was slack, quite slack la, as compared to other days of the week. My chinese teacher din come to class today, so I had 1 hr 40min break in a row. That hasn't happened for months. Told ah chua bout LL and vice versa, and they're going to meet up soon and become friends :DDDD Hopefully that'll make things much much less awkward when we go HK together! Din see Nessa for the whole day today :( Well frankly speaking it felt really weird not seeing you, and I MISS YOU!! Haha we'll hav lunch together tmr ya? And I can see vicky and jess too :D I think I'll blog about yesterday's match some other day. My tests are waiting for me, gotta run! [jaN3___*]  LL and I in thomson plazaaaa :D Ah chua!! Yes that's how you 2 look like (LL and You), you 2!Tuesday, May 8, 2007
11:53 PM ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 11:46 PM ARGH nth is going right for me now. By the way I'm ponning school tmr. Good night ya'll. [jaN3___*] -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11:06 PM Ngo yong gong dong wa lei blog, yen dei wat zeh wui gok dek ngo ci seen. But guo lei dek lei la, ngo yi ga zeng hai siong jiong ngo soh yao geh lum fat seh dai, wat zeh dou jiong loi ho yi tai fan yin hao siew ha ngo yi qin yao gei soh. Ngo zi wai sum lei sek tai, but ngo bei lei zi dou ngo kum meh dou mo soh wai la, lei mm gong chut lei zao dak ga lar :) Leng oi yet goh sek dak tai ngo yi ga seh gen mut geh.. zao jeng fan lei la. But guo, ngo lum lei dou yi geng mm zoi lei ngo geh blog loh... Zi cong hai SA sek duo lei, ngo mui yat dou gok dak ho hoi sum. Yao lei seng yat dao ngo siew, CCA goh zen si pui ngo, tong ngo keng gai, ngo zen hai ho hoi sum. Ngo xiong shun lei hai goh hou yan, but guo lei dui ngo geh hou, gei yan yu meh? Yat hoi ci, ngo yi wai ngo they hai ho ho geh pang yao, ho ci tong ci dao gum, hui been dou yat cai. Kei set yao lan guai yen dei wui yi wai ngo dei hai mai yat cai. Guo zoh gum doh ngo yut, ngo zui gan seen zi dou yun loi lei zong yi ngo. But guo mo gei loi zi hao, PAE zao yun zoh, ngo dei yew gok fen gok lo la. Tai lei lei hai sun hok hao yup bin ho hoi sum. Dou lei goh si hao, ngo seen zi fak gok, lei yi geng man man gum soh yun ngo. Lei wah lei ho mong, yao ho doh yeh zou. But gwo yu guo lei zen hai yao sum siong tong ngo gai jok zou pang yao geh, mui jiew zho sms ngo yao gei lan ah. Kei sut ngo mm hai guai lei mm zoi lei ngo, but gwo dim gai lei yew yong yat dai dui jek hao, wah lei yen wai mo si gan, sin zi wui fut luek zho ngo. Lei mm ho gong dou lei zi gei gum wai dai, ho ci ngo geh xiong sum dou hai doh yu geh. Ngo ho lao lei, dim gai wui hai goh gum geh yan. Mm tong yat hoi ci, ngo dei wui gum "close", dou zeng hai yen wai lei zong yi ngo? Mm tong, dou zoh lei mm zoi zong yi ngo geh si hao, lei zao yi geng zoi lan dak lei ngo? Ngo zi gei dou mm zi dim gai, wui gum zoi fu lei. Ngo zi dou zi gei mm hai zong yi lei, but guo, ngo mui man, MUI MAN fen gao zi qin dou wui lum hei lei. Yen wai lum ehi lei, yi gok dak ho xiong sum. Ngo zen hai zen hai ho zen sek ngo dei li duun yao ceng gar. Lei hai ngo sum yup bin geh wai zi, zen hai ho zong yew. Dim gai ngo dei wui bin seng gum? Dim gai. Mm tong ngo dei yi geng mo ho leng bin fan ho ci yi cin gum close meh? Ngo yet yet, duk dung mm sms lei, zao hai hei mong lei wui yao yet yut sms ngo. Gum, xin zi ho yi peng fok ngo sum yup min geh but on. Lei yut goh sms dui ngo ho zong yew, yen wai, kui wui doi biew lei lum hei ngo, zong yao sum tong ngo zou pang yao. Gum yiong tai lei, Ngo dei leung goh zi gan geh yao ceng yi geng mo ho lung gar la. Mm zi, lei zong gei mm gei dak lei yi qin promise guo ngo di meh. Lei wah, lei yi gah lo lek hok tan git tah, dou ngo sang yut geh si hao, lei wui tan sao sang yut goh bei ngo teng. Ngo wui man man dung do goh yut yut geh loi lum. Yi goh zoh goh yut yut, lei yi yin ho mo siew sek goh wah, ngo dei geh yao ceng, jao wui goh kei. Ngo ho gua zhu lei. [jaN3___*] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10:23 PM Emoooooo. I realized, people who are dear to me can affect me really easily by just the things they say or do. The disappointment you get from them when they let you down is different from that gotten from a random acquaintance. It's like, your whole happy day, cheerful mood, can just be spoilt in a an instant. I suppose it implies that they mean a lot to you, which is a good thing, but feeling dejected and forlorn is not exactly a thing I'd clap and cheer for. I guess I didn't take into consideration that people have different piorities. Even if you put them at the top place, it might not be mutual. You thought they'd be like you, ranking it as the all time favourite, prefering to do it above other things any time. You are not blaming them for not feeling the same way, but that tinge of hurt and disappointment is inevitable. -------- Today was well spent, breakfast with nessa, talking with chua during lunch break and math lec, bridging with nessa, jess, chuen yuen, desmond and ah chua at the bleachers, laughing tons and bridging tons with victor, jess, nessa, abel, timo, and other friends. We're like bridge maniacs or something, clinching onto almost every chance we have to bridge. Even on the bus. We would just open the box file, and start giving out cards on the bus. I remembered laughing alot alot today, but I just cant really seem to recall what they were about. I think I'm feeling to moody to rmb the happy stuff that happened today, which is a pity :( Oh but there IS one thing which I definitely can rmb, one that made me extremely EXTREMELY exultant. LL AND AH CHUA is going back to HK with me this june holiday!! Omg I like, still cant believe it. Both of them are going to live in my room in hk for a week, and shop till we drop! I am on cloud nine, and it's a blissful and wonderful place :D --------  Victor is trying to act as if he's not related to us, but not being very effective!
-------- Kane sent me a few photos the other day, and I'm loving every minute of staring at them. The pictures make me feel absurdly blessed and contented.  It has been LONG since we've done that.
[jaN3___*] Sunday, May 6, 2007
7:43 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7:11 PM I felt rather accomplished today. Woke up at 9.30 and started practicing my piano all the way until my teacher came at 11.30, and had lesson for an hour. That means 3 hours of non-stop fingers movement. After my sister had her own piano lesson, our whole family went out for lunch (Oh minus my brother. He had to stay home to study. Hey, that situation sounds familiar. Tsk tsk.) We went to sushi tei and stuffed ourselves silly. After that it's off to my classmate's place to complete GPP (disgusting, yes I know). At 5.30, I left steph's house and took a bus down to jurong library. On the way there, I passed by the Science Centre. That ride triggered lots of my memories, and I was at once saddened. Passing by that place, I was reminded of the st.marg's trip there to do a science experiment. I was confused, thinking that it only happened months ago, or maybe even early this year. In fact, the trip was a damned two years ago, when I was in Sec 3. I remembered sexy7 said to meet for breakfast in the Macs in science centre, how jialin and I wanted to scared the others from the back but failed miserably, how we went around the activity park and acted like 3 year old kids, how our whole class went into hiding to prank our form teacher saying that we're all late. Those are wonderful memories that were tucked deep inside my mind, almost forgotten, and relieving them has made me realize how dear those pieces of memory fragments are. I miss I miss I miss. --------
Saturday, May 5, 2007
11:26 PM Today I pissed my brother off for multiple times. Before anything is said, I gotta tell you ppl that I'M INNOCENT. Haha okay partially innocent. 1. My brother was using the comp, and I suggested to him that we should go cycling. He said okay, and I waited for him to finish using the comp to get ready. After a while, he got up and said "Ok I'm done, I'll go get ready now." So naturally, I reassume my place in front of the comp and went to watch youtube videos. When my brother returned from his room, he got a shock when he saw a few of his comp windows closed. "What did you do?? Why did you close my files??" Well how am I supposed to know right. He himself said that he was DONE. Haha so tt's how i pissed him off the first time. 2. Right before leaving for cycling, I asked him "So do i close the remaining files", and I put my cursor on the "close button". He took damn long to reply (he was admiring himself in the mirror), so I got a little impatient. Then finally, he said "dont close them" BUT at the same time, I clicked the button already. I mean, the action was simultaneous. I cant stop myself in time. Then he got damn pissed "I told you not to clsoe right!". But technically speaking, I closed the file a few milliseconds before he said "dont close", so I cant be totally blamed right. 3. We went down to the carpark to get our bikes, and realize the pump's spoilt. So cycling trip was screwed. We decided to take rocky out for a walk, then go somewhere for dinner (my brother actually wanted to stay home for dinner, but I bugged and bugged him until he said ok). I suggested sixth avenue, cuz the laksa there is the bomb. We took bus there, walked a bit, and found out the bloody shop's closed (taking a closer look, I think the stall's not evern there anymore, but I shooed my brother away before he could realize that). Getting a little frustrated, my brother asked where shd we go. He said he couldnt decide where to eat, and he gets really irritated when he cannot decide wad to eat (is it MY fault). In the end, we took bus down to opp beauty world, and my bro still couldnt decide where to eat. He reckon it's my fault. 4. Finally, we settled down in Al-ameen, a prata shop. As my heading has already said, screw Al-ameen. The nasi brani was total crap. As well as the "sambal" sotong. The sotong tasted nth like sambal. Both my brother and I agreed that they put KETCHUP in the sauce. The nasi brani was overloaded with spices, and was too spicy. I like spicy, but that's way over the line. You know when the chilli's too much, it is when it makes the food taste BITTER. The spiciness burnt my whole tongue and throat, and I couldnt feel a bloody shit in my mouth for the rest of the meal. We ended up drinking 4 cups of drinks, and the whole meal cost 25 bucks. Shit them. 5. Bloated with milo dinosaur, star fruit juice and green apple juice, we decided to walk home. As we passed by bukit timah plaza, my brother said he wanted to get some markers from pop, so we headed towards the shopping centre. After I stepped into the shopping centre, we started walking towards the still-open-popular. But before reaching there, I told me brother to wait as I made a turn for the bin about ten steps ahead to throw away my drink. As I was walking back, my brother said: "If popular's closed I'm gonna kill you." I quickened my step and we turned back to face popular, only to see the shithead auntie pulling the metal grill down. I was like totally "Uh oh." As you can probably guess, my brother exploded. He was SO pissed I tell you, it was almost funny to see him getting all ticked off. As usual, he blamed me, saying I'm stupid and everything. But hey, you cant bring a cup of drink into popular, can you. By the way, my brother was holding a cup of drink as well. Tsk. My brother was fuming in silent the whole walk back. I think he purposely walked super fast so I had a hard time trying to catch up. Talk about pettiness. [jaN3___*] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12:08 PM Well today's a wacky day. Yesterday night, I made all these plans for today, that is: 1. Have breakfast with cheryl jess and angel 2. Have lunch out with my family (which we havent done so for like months.) 3. Go to Stephanie's house to complete GPP So i slept at 1.30 after blogging, and set my alarm to 7.30 (given we were supposed to meet at macs at 8.30). The next morning, when the alarm went off, I saw a msg on my hp: jess: eh can we postpone breakfast to next week. Meeting for 2 hours only like no point. Well it was kinda a bit of a late notice, and the words "no point" kinda stings. Still, I'm quite grateful to get back to sleep, away from that massive headache. Then, at 8 plus, I received another msg from stephanie saying : "Huh, tmr? It's sunday." Guess i totally forgot we said to meet on sunday instead of saturday. Then when I woke up, my family's about to go out for a jog in MacRitchie reservior. Lunch's gotta wait then. So I ended up with absolutely nothing to do at home. That explains why I'm bloggin again. It's just this weird feeling you get when you thought you have everything under control but still nothing turns out right. Frustrating. Haha that reminds me of how John always say "I am controlling the game" during OG soccer matches, but actually he's just standing around with a blur face. -------- After reading Sucheng's blog, I suddenly realize I'm not the only person who feels that way. To think about it, I suppose everyone will feel the same way. We get really happy when our names are mentioned in other ppl's blogs :)) It's just, when you read about their day, you see them talk about their new classes, stupid school work, the fun they had, and suddenly you saw your name there. There's this sense of satisfaction, assurance that hey, we did something that make them feel like it's worth penning. Going down the archives, you know that somewhere, some time ago, you made a difference to their lives, and became part of their memories. [jaN3___*] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12:01 AM I have a funny way of recalling what I did for the past few weeks. Nth comes to mind if I just sit down stare into space and think. I HAVE to look at my school timetable, then everything will come rushing into picture. So anyway monday was pe lessons, throwing javelins. It's pretty fun actuallly, but kinda freaky when our pe teacher told us about all the accidents that could happen (and have happened before) if we've decided to act cool and twirl our javelins around. The field was in a BAD state. Wet, muddy, and SMELLY. YES, SMELLY. The field smelled like cow dung (and I do know how cow dung smells like cuz my grandma reared cows back in China). Me: "Sir, what does the school use as fertilizer for the field?" Teacher: "Erm, I dont know, and I dont think I want to know. Cow dung probably." SEE. -------- Anyway if you've read nessa's blog you would've known about the express 74 thing. To say things in finer details, after the uncles flipped the "74" board to the blank side, we decided to do something really mean. Before reaching the Nanyang Bus stop, Nessa and I unhinged the bus's compartment, took out the "74" board, flipped it around and placed it back. We leaned forward eagerly and waited for the action to happen. Just as expected, students from the Nanyang bus stop flagged for the bus. As the bus whizzed by, Nessa and I made all kinds of stupid faces like "Haha you retard!" kinda looks, did the "neh ni neh ni poo poo" hand sign and I pointed my middle finger at them. Well it was great fun :) -------- Labour day. Nessa was making a big joke out of how this person's born on labour day and she went all "HAHAHA! His mother was in labour on labour day! HAHAHA!!" Well you can imagine. Majonged at LL's hse. LEO is like OMG OMG. SO HANDSOMEE!! But too bad he's gay. Seems like he's taken a great liking to abel, in particular John's butt. Haha anyway Leo's a dog. We played small, really small. Like, 5 cents a tai. I ended up winning 3 bucks and abel 2 bucks. Haha :)) Watched Passion of the Christ after that. The part where Jesus was chatised, I couldnt take it. The tears just gushed out. I mean, how could they do that to Jesus. They're sick. -------- This wednesday was the first in my entire AC life that I wasnt on the verge of fainting. I ate breakfast and PE was only the testing of the standbroad jump and inclined pull up stations. Thank God. Went to PJ after school, and I must say I really like the atmosphere and surrounding. As compared to AC, it gave me a really warm and cheery feeling. I'm not saying AC's gloomy, it's just that AC have this glam factor, like for the rich and everything, but PJ's got this home sweet home zest. Anyway the rugby match was exciting. Didnt expect PJ to score the first try. But SA charged at full blast and won them 23 to 5 (somewhere there I cant really rmb). The try scored by sirhan was WHAO. You should've seen him tear across the field, running past 4 opposition ruggers. Chester came with Timo, and I STILL cant look at chester right in the eyes. It's really bad I tell you. I couldnt even say BYE to him properly. Haha I'm a loser. -------- On a side note, us OG7 girls LOVE being insulted by abel. All the "fuck you"s, "you are a fucker"s etc etc make us extremely happy :D It has came to the extent that we'll purposely provoke him just so that he'll say that to us. HAHA! To you I present, our dearest Abel :))    Friday, May 4, 2007
10:10 PM I dont know anymore. I doubt the credibility of you words. How much truth are there in what you said actually? They may be true, but are those really the reasons? I have so many questions to ask you, but I guess they wouldnt make any difference. Sometimes I wonder, what's the value of all the things in the past? Were they sincere? When we were close, were we really close? Perhaps it's just that you once cared, but no longer anymore. We werent true friends, were we. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'll offend you by saying all those. I really hope you could tell me that I AM wrong. Wishful thinking huh. You have no idea how much you mean to me, how dear you are to me as a friend. It gets me all saddened when I think of you, thinking of all those unanswered questions, thinking that... it's all over. It's like as if our friendship never existed, ended before it has even started. I'm not stupid, I'm not blind. I can tell, the change in your attitude towards me, the things you do, the things you say, or more like the many many things you dont say anymore. Time time time. That's the culprit huh. If that's the case, damn time. I hate you time, for making me lose a friend. Please, dont go all "I'll still be there." It hurts to hear it and not seeing you fulfill the promise. Raising my expectations, raising my hopes, those are not wise things to do. Really, I dont want this to become an obligation to you. How much worth are there in a friendship that's held and maintained only by obligations? Dont feel like you owe me anything, cuz you dont. Dont say you're sorry, cuz when you do, what exactly are you apologising about? Sorry that you've neglected me? Dont. Neglect is not the right word to use. I'm not your daughter, with a parent who spends too little time with the kid cuz of the hectic worklife and mounting workload. You know the love is still there, you know he still cares, but he just had to set his piorities right. Do you still care? Time and again, I question myself. Maybe it's just me, I'm being paranoid, I think too much, I worry too much about insignificant things. I'm tired. The barrier is there and I'm just too exhausted to climb over it, so I'm just going to give it all up altogether. I'm not going to care anymore, though I dont suppose it'll make much of a difference to you. I'm hanging at the edge of your world, but do you even notice? I'm going to stop hurting myself. You'll just be a person, a peice of memory that I'll reminisce about, because you're no longer there, and I'm no longer waiting and searching for you. You can go on without me. Thursday, May 3, 2007
8:24 PM OMGG, i KNEW i shouldnt hav switched the computer on. Today is a very good example on how the comp has caused me to waste my whole afternoon away. I havent blogged for these few days, because I knew tt once I switched on the computer, no matter how much I will myself to switch it off once I've blogged, I'll continue using it till the unearthly hours, forsaking all my homework etc etc. I mean come on, who am I kidding. To refrain from landing into that situation, I've decided not to switch the computer on at all. -------- But as you probably can see (unless you're pah jiao, that is), I've changed a new blog skin. Have been wanting to do that for quite long already, but was really quite lazy to get a move on. That was until sucheng randomly said "Your blog ah! Everytime I go must click the "blog" thing. Very irritating leh!" HAHA that was what motivated me to go and search for a new skin. As a result, I spent hours looking for the right skin AND editing it. There were so many redundant things that needed altering. Still, I'm not very happy with the skin. The posts background colour's too dark, which makes the font pretty glaring. I searched high and low in the html profile for the part that codes for the background colour, BUT I JUST CANT FIND IT. Omg I hate myself. Oh well, that skin ripped me off too much of my time, so I'll screw myself if I dont use it. -------- Lots of stuff happened this week, meaning there'll be tons to blog about, but once again, I gotta tear myself away from the comp, or I'll end up with untouched homework and detention tmr. Anyway, I have this AMAZING picture of abel. You guys HAVE to see this. Haha but that'll be some other day. I promise it'll get your side splitting from all the laughter :)) |
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