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Friday, November 16, 2007
8:13 PM It was nothing short of a miracle. 9th, 14th and 15th of Nov, 3 days of being a Japanese tour guide. They were experiences like never before. It is with technology that almost nothing seem impossible. Day 1 was with Miki, Kaori, Tomoko, and Riho. That proved to be the toughest day of all, with me still not used to their language, and them with really really limited English. I learnt a lot of lessons on that day alone, like it is very much advisable to ask them where THEY wanna go first, instead of going ahead with our own plan then realize they just want to go shopping. Also, what we think is cheap, may not be cheap for them. After the first day, I know I have a lot of brushing up to do. I created a list of commonly used words and phrases in jap, and also watched a local tv show on touring in Little India, all for the sake of being a better tour guide for the japanese the next working day. -------- Day 2, I had Mitsuki, Minami, Haruna, Megumi, and 2 more girls whose name I could barely remember. Minami is actually one of Nessa's girls, but she followed Deborah and I to Vivo City while the rest of her group went to Orchard. She left me with a very deep impression cuz she was extremely extremely adorable and sweet. Day 2 was considerably much less tiring, cuz most of the time was spent in Vivocity, which simply equals AIR-CON. Before that we were in Little India, but we never stayed long. One very very scary lesson was learnt on that day. Deborah's, Nessa's and my group travelled together, totalling up to 18 girls. When we were boarding the train, 10 of them managed to squeeze in, BUT SUDDENLY THE DOOR JUST CLOSED ON US. 10 JAP GIRLS ON THE TRAIN WITH ALMOST NO ENGLISH SPEAKING ABILITY, AND 3 (ALL) OF THEIR TOUR GUIDES NOT ON THE TRAIN. We freaked out like mad. We banged furiously on the door, and I even jumped up and down screaming at the camera hoping that son of a bitch station master would notice something and reopen the door. BUT NO, the train just zoomed and whoopee we lost them. Nessa looked as if she's going to faint, and I tried convincing myself and the others that with common sense, the girls should alight at the next stop since they have no idea where they're supposed to stop. Luckily, one of the girls called another tour guide, and they told him they'll drop at City hall. WHAT A EFFING RELIEF. Seeing them safe and sound I was filled with utmost joy. Moral of the story: let one guide get on the train before any jappie does. The day ended with a very disturbing twist. I was about to send the girls back to the hotel, when they exclaimed: "No no! We, want to go, HOUSE OF CONDOM." OH, MY, GOD. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. I thought my ears were playing tricks on me due to excessive usage but NO, they repeated "HOUSE OF CONDOM". Jesus, I tried to escape from this situation by saying and saying that we have no time we have to go back, but they on the other hand, insist that it's okay "daijobu daijobu". I grimaced at Debbie, had no other choice, and told them to hurry up I'll give them 10 minutes. You should see those excitement on their faces. We rushed to HOC, most of them went in while deb and I waited outside. After idling outside for about a minute, I realize the uncles on the porch above were staring and staring at us. Then I thought "CRAP WHAT KIND OF A MESSAGE ARE WE SENDING TO THE PUBLIC, STANDING OUTSIDE HOC LIKE THIS!?" Man it was disturbing. They came out, all with a small bag of condoms, one of the girls even offered us a condom. I asked them why they want to go there, and they typed in the translator "interest". They even mentioned that "Japan condom, size small." Yea and I really needed to know that :/ -------- Day 3, the day which I had the most fun, and is also the most memorable day of all. My group has 7 boys, namely Daiki, Naoki, Shinya, Takashi, Bob, Toshiki (Hard Gay), and Hayato (Hentai). Girls are cute and we share similar likings like SHOPPING, singers, manga and other stuff, but boys are starkly different. Firstly, they are NOISY, really really noisy. Not the squeal squeal "oooh" like us girls do, but the "JANE WA HENTAI DES" kind of noisy. The moment I was called out to their group, they gave me a paper with their supposed schedule and promptly turned away. I though they were the rebellious kind of boys who don't give a damn about anyone (with reference to 2 of abel's boys haha), but it turned out that we were actually SUPPOSED to walk back and wait at the table while the human jam of the previous groups downstairs clears. I was SO relieved when they offered me a seat at the table and started talking to me. Their english is surprisingly good. Especially Daiki, who got a max of 5 in his english grade, while Shinya got a 1. HAHA :D They're from Osaka, so maybe that explains the difference, cuz the others came from small towns around Osaka, where english is less of an emphasis to the students. I started of with the normal introduction, jokingly telling them my name's Hard Gay in desperation to break the ice. It seemed to work pretty well, with much help from Nessa when she came along, laughed like mad at the hard gay part and promptly did the hard gay hips thrusting move. They took the joke really well, and during names introduction, 2 of my boys decided to call themselves Hard Gay and Hentai. Very easy to remember :D -------- First destination was to Chinatown. When I first heard that they want to go there, I freaked out. Number 1, I have no idea how to get to that place, number 2, I have no idea where to bring them to within Chinatown (I'm Little India specialist). Thank God for Christine. Her group wants to go there too, so we made our way there together by bus. My boys have very fat wallets (I peeked and saw a wad of 50 dollar notes), but sadly no coins. So 2 dollars were used and I told them to return 1 dollar to whoever applicable. Sadly, without me noticing, poor Bob put in 5 bucks and walked to the rear of the bus. It was only after 5 minutes that he told me he didn't get any change, and then I told him you DON'T get any change. I felt rather guilty for not looking after his money properly but it was nonetheless very funny when he knew he just lost 4 bucks for nothing. Chinatown, is HOT. The heat was blaring at max and 30 seconds after getting off the bus I was soaking wet with sweat. Total unglamness I tell you. At 9 in the morning, nothing was opened. People's park was closed, and the hawker centre wasn't any better. Just as I though the tour is gonna screw up, lovely Christine suggest bringing them to the opposite side where a whole street of souvenirs are sold (which I have no idea existed until yesterday). We spend about an hour there, walking around but everything was almost the same. I finally convinced them that there really is nothing is Chinatown, and that we should leave and go somewhere else. -------- Then, we took a train down to Vivo. There again I saw that difference between girls and guys. The other time, when the girls saw candy empire, they screamed and ran towards it. This time, the guys didn't even notice candy empire until I pointed it out to them. The girls spent almost half an hour in that shop, buying lots and lots of sweet and biscuits. The guys, it didn't even last more than 15 minutes. Haha :D They were much more "on" than the girls too! I brought them up to the pool thing on the top level, and when I removed my shoes and socks and went in, all of them followed suit. We took some pictures and Shinya tried splashing water all over me. -------- Lunch was... hmm, very not singapore style. On day 2, I brought the girls to the food court and all of them bought JAP FOOD. Like what?? For one thing, the Jap food in Singapore is confirm plus chop not as good as that in Japan, and number 2 you come to singapore to eat your own country's food? It's like us going to India and eat Chinese food. Hmm. So, before I let them choose what they want to eat, I told them "strictly no Jap food". Then, with a recommendation from one of their other friends who also happened to eat there, all of them ordered chicken chop spag from the western stall, plus a plate of fries and chicken nugget. Okay I really dont know what to comment on that. Haha. Then, the moment I was waiting for. "Itadakimasu!" AHH EXCITING EXCITING. It's so cute to see them clapping their hands together and saying it in unison, just like on TV. Somehow it just gave me much satisfaction haha :D I ordered laksa and a cup of cold teh si for them to try, but it was way too sweet for their taste. They reacted the same way towards ice kachang. They even spat out the sweet corn, red bean, jelly AND AGACHI, well that makes almost everything. They didn't like the bak gua back in chinatown either. I dont blame them, since we're used to eating different stuff. But they responded very well to the "white rabbit milk candy", going "oiishi" (which proved to be very pleasant to my ears) and bought more to bring back to Japan. All of them finished their food in like 15 minutes, and I wasn't even halfway through, mainly due to trying to check words up on the translator to talk to them, and getting up to buy food for them to try. While still eating happily, I suddenly realized that they're all staring at me eat. Tio malu. Upon realizing that, I couldn't eat anymore, I wasn't even all that hungry already. I told them I'm done and let's go, but they refused and told me to continue eating. BUT HOW COULD I WITH 14 EYES STARING AT MY EVERY MOVE. Toshiki even tried feeding me omg how did that happen. In desperation, I told them to leave their things behind, and go to the toilet, go shop for 10 minutes or whatever. I had to plead them again and again, till finally they got up and walked. I thought I could eat in peace already, but as I was about to put a spoonful of laska into my mouth, I turned and saw all of their heads sticking out from a corner, still grinning and staring at me. Obviously they thought it is very fun to disturb me. I was exasperated. After shooing them away, I started eating very very quickly. I still couldnt finish the laska so I called the auntie to help me take the tray away. Wiping my mouth, I looked straight ahead and saw hayato staring right at me from afar. Omg they were everywhere. Idiots. Haha :) -------- Then, it was time to go back to DFS. On the train, I suddenly remembered someone saying something about jap and s'pore war before the day started, so I said to the boys: "Your grandfather killed (stabbing action) my grandfather." I later corrected that they didn't kill my grandfather since we migrated here, but rather my friends' grandfathers or great grandfathers. The point didnt get across to the boys, but it sure did to the rest of the passangers in that carraige. A woman heard me and she actually smiled showing her teeth. I stared at her and she quickly pretend that nothing has happened :/ We reported to the teachers and went down to take more pictures. As a last gift to them, I took out my henna pack and drew stuff on each of their hand like the date and our names. They did the same, BUT THEY DIDN'T WRITE NICE STUFF. You'll see.  From left to right: Teacher who popped in (SO CUTE SO CUTE), shinya, naoki, daiki, Bob, Hard Gay, Takashi, Hentai :))
 Hentai, otaku (manga fan)
Those boys were a bunch of monkeys, but I really like them a lot.
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